I’ve always said that no matter how hectic my day gets, or how tired I am, that I would take the time to make myself look presentable everytime I go somewhere…and it’s a nice thought, but for anyone who has a toddler as demanding and as active as mine, it’s not at all practical.
Today I was dying to get out of the house but knew that if I wanted to do so before 5:00 in the afternoon, I would have to cut some corners. So, against my better judgement, I went to the mall in a very…natural state.
Yeah, that’s right. I walked right past the shower, slipped on a holey, faded-out pair of jeans, kept on the same sweater I slept in, stuck my dirty feet with the chipped toe-nail polish into some dime-store flip flops, and pulled my greasy, ratty hair into a sloppy ponytail. The only make-up I had on was smudged eye-liner left over from last night…and I think I even forgot to brush my teeth.
So while I slump around the mall looking like I just climbed out of the pits of hell, Mia could’ve passed for a little paegant queen. Honestly, the child looked like she stepped right out of a magazine…beautiful curls done up perfectly in a fancy ribbon, cute little outfit to match, clean face, rosy cheeks. I’m sure people thought I had kidnapped her from loving parents who actually bathed.
She wasn’t completely perfect, I guess. I noticed once we had been shopping for sometime that she was wearing the very same jacket that she had previously stuffed a PB&J sandwich in the pockets a week earlier…guess I forgot to wash it? AUG. I’ve got to be the world’s biggest slacker mom.
A man approached me in the parking lot, catching me completely off guard and scaring the bejesus out of me. I was trying to get Mia in the car and he came right up behind me, claimed to be a "photographer" and asked if I had ever done any modeling…FREAKING CREEPY. He looked to be about middle aged, and was as sloppily dressed as I was. Something was very wrong with the man–he kept glancing all around and walked away a little too quickly when mall security drove by in their little SUV…I was not the least bit fooled, but I politely told him no and got into my car as fast as I could…fully prepared to stab him in the neck with my keys.
I mean, geez. Do people really fall for that? Did I look that stupid? Or did I look trashy enough that even if I saw right through it that I would meet him anyway? And for the love of God, I had my baby with me! Honestly. People just scare the hell out of me these days. Neighbors, strangers…trust no one. It’s horrible.