Bringin’ My A-Game Again

   Oh, wow. Have I really been "gone" this long?
   Thank you to everyone who left the super-nice and supportive comments and e-mails. I honestly didn’t mean to be such a drama-queen about this. I’ve been bringing my "A" GAME since Sunday–systems are running at 100%…whatever it is systems run. In other words, I’m back to normal.
   Going to the doctor did indeed help, even if she did cringe as I explained my symptoms.
   "Not likely just a hormone problem," Doc says. "In fact–you might not like to hear this–but what it sounds like is manic depression."
   Huh? Depression? Surely you jest.
   "It happens more commonly in men than in women, but usually when women…blah blah blah blah blah blah…"
   Just what did you mean by MANIC, Doc?
   "It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It is, in fact, something most likely beyond your control. There are medications….blah blah blah yada yada yada…"
   Medi-what? ME? Are you talking about me? What do I have to be freaking depressed about? My life is F*CKING FABULOUS, do you hear me? FABULOUS. Besides. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. in order to get a shower and shave my legs, among other things, and you are not even looking at my crotch. I mean, the least you could do is ask me to get naked and give me a pretty floral sheet to drape over myself.
   "I’m going to refer you to this great doctor…something about birth control pills to regulate your periods…you’ll feel a little better…"
   Birth-control pills? What happened to trying to get pregnant? Does that automatically go out the window when one has these sort of problems? And why the heck did I not think to ask these things while I was actually at the office?
   The rest is sort of a blur. I was in and out in a matter of minutes, which for me, is really something, because everytime I’ve been to the woman this year it’s been a major event. But I guess the point was made, and now I’m off to see someone who knows a little more about it…I’m a little disappointed that it’s not a quick hormone-fix. I don’t like to think that–dare I even say it again?–I could be…depressed. Not like there’s anything wrong with that, but…me?
   Oh, well. In keeping with the new (or should I say old?) calm and happy me, I’m switching to a more upbeat subject. I would like to announce that, for the first time in seven months…(drumroll please)…I went to dinner, with my husband…
   Without. The kids.
   Sweet Jesus. Thank you for this miracle. Thank you for our company, my brother-in-law and his excellent girlfriend, who kept an eye on our precious little handfuls while we enjoyed steak, lobster, salmon, shrimp, and even a few tasty beverages! Excitement! Joy! Rapture! Heaven!
   And that’s the news according to me. I’m off to see what everyone else has been up to…at least, I’m going to try. I’ve got adult guests I’ve practically ignored all but these last 3 days. Oops…

About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

21 responses to “Bringin’ My A-Game Again

  • barnyardmama

    Well, that without the kids thing is pretty awesome.  I’m always offering to babysit b/c I realize that these things become important after a while. 
    About the manic depressive thing. . could be on the money, could be a little off.  I recommend doing a little investigating of your own–you know yourself better than anyone else.  
    I went to your friend NIkki’s website and was freaked out ’cause she’s from Cabot–and then i remembered you saying that you used to live in Arkansas.  I feel like we’ve criss-crossed the country. 
    Glad you’re feelign better–where’d you go eat?

  • barnyardmama

    OH, and I forgot: if you want to get pregnant, you need to tell your doctors up front.  Otherwise, they may try to put you on some baby-unfriendly type of stuff. 
    There is medication available for pregnant women, but it’s kind of old-school.  I work with a women who’s taking prozac while pregnant.  She’s hoping it’ll be OK.

  • Josh

    Good to hear things are on the up. And just in time for the World Cup…

  • Nikki

    Toni, I’m glad you saw the doctor.  I didn’t even believe depression was a real illness. I always laughed at people who claimed to be depressed.  Until, It happened to me.  Like I said before, My life is nothing to be depressed about, but yet it happened.   The meds I was on (Yes, I’ve stopped taking them…) worked wonders for me.  Although, they did make me incredibly sleepy for the first few weeks.  I’m here if you need to talk or vent…or take a trip. haha.  I love you girl!!

  • K

    I’ve taken and should resume taking… St. John’s Wort.  It’s all natural and highly effective for mild-depression.  That thing is freakin amazing and really does work.  It is the only natural remedy recognized by the medical community to be very effective in fighting depression.  The honest truth is I don’t know anything about how it could impact a pregnancy or even trying to get pregnant.  Perhaps this referred doctor can tell you if you are interested?
    Sounds like you indeed needed a date with the hubby, "sans les enfants" (without the kids)… having some alone time is exactly what you need… and it’s wonderful that you did get just that!
    I’m happy that you are back at giving your A-Game… and things are on the up and up… we missed you but care a great deal about your well-being.  So do what you gotta do hun!
    Ciao bella,

  • Nooner™

    Woo Hooo … Toni’s back!
    Here’s hoping you and Caleb get a couple more of those dinner dates in again soon!!
    Hmmm .. Does hot chocolate wash out easily if it spills on pretty floral sheets?  😉

  • Darcy

    Hey girl!
    I’m so happy to hear you’re feeling better… I want to write a ‘book’ on here, but I’m super busy… but there was one quick thing I wanted to say before I forget… if they put you on birth control, make SURE that if you feel yourself getting worse, you tell them… I had this problem when I went on birthcontrol last year and I was a literal mess… when we finally discovered that it was chemical, we switched pills (3 times) to find one that didn’t make me insane… Just a thought… make sure that if you start acting ‘extra crazy’ about two weeks in, you go back and switch the brand, because you don’t want it to make you feel worse!
    Anyway, I’ll be back to tell you nice things later… :)

  • LH

    I agree do some research, but even if it isn’t manic many times it is just a mild case.  Just because your life is "great" doesn’t mean we as Mom’s don’t get overwhelmed.  Personally I would stay far away from Prozac and the other "major" meds although I don’t live with you what you described isn’t a manic thing.  If it is something your Dr is really recommending I would start with Cymbalta or Wellbutrin.  Both do not have near the negative side affects that the others have.  However, before you do that I agree that you should try St Johns Wart.  I have taken that and it has helped me when I am overwhelmed.  Go online and google St Johns Wart and you will find all the information you need. 

  • Michael

    Hey Toni…glad to see you back blogging away…I missed your humour!  I predict your blogstock rising now…haha  And YES….WORLD CUP IS HERE!
    Take care,

  • Sheryl-Ann

    Hey Toni, dinner without the kids? That must have been a sweet time with the hubby. That food sounds good as well. I absolutely love salmon – it’s my favorite fish!!  I had some blackened Alaskan salmon last week…..ohhhhhhhh, delightful!
    I agree with KM on the manic depression thing.  Please do your own research before you start taking any medication.  Plus, if you are planning on getting pregnant, do tell your doc as well. Also check out Laura’s suggestion of St. John’s Wort……it’s worth a try.
    Hope you are having a wonderful week!

  • Elizabeth

    Hi Toni, I am so glad to hear that you are feeling a little better and also that you and your hubby had a chance to have an evening out. That helps! It looks like you have a very supportive circle of friends and family and an amazing spouse which is a plus. Take Care and keep us updated on the situation..You ARE fabulous!
    :) Lizzie

  • Alicia

    Ummm…do I interpret this to mean you are TRYING to get pregnant???  HMMM????
    HUGS!!  :)

  • Tiffany

    Hello’s good to see you are feeling better.  I am glad you went to the doctor, but do not worry too terribly much.  He might not be exactly right.  My doctor told me I was depressed..he gave me medication.  The meds had me trying to think of ways to kill myself.  Thankfully Jessie was watching over me like a hawk.  Just be careful, and ask lots of questions.  If you want to have more children now then ask if there is any other way to make you feel better.  I am no doctor, but I just think of different things.  Smile and I will send you blessings.
    Your long lost friend,

  • Kim

    aka …bi-polar, that’s a nice way of putting it.  I too would prefer it to be hormonal and would get a second opinion but either way once you’re treated for whatever it is you’ll be feeling much better.  I’m so glad you’re feeling better though and blogging :)  I’m sure some time alone with your husband helped too. 

  • Unknown

    dinner!!  with your hottie -woohoo!  love the newest
    pics.  when is Mia two??  interesting about what the dr had
    to offer.  just keep in mind that people with fabulous lives still
    get sad :)

  • Laura

    a date without the kids? Yay!!! Hope you enjoyed yourself, now get back to those guests of yours and live it up.
    I am also glad the doctor was able to steer you in a better direction. Before treating something like that, you may want another opinion, or to research yourself! Can never be too careful with those meds!
    Glad to hear you’re doing better…  :)

  • Andrea

    Before you let them put you on antiphyscotics or anti depressants listen.  My MIL just retired from the local mental health facility after 20 yrs.  These are last ditch drugs due to side effects. 
     I am almost 35.  Since I was 19 I started having real mood issues.  They wanted to put me on bi polar meds, prozac, and other anti depressants.  I was convinced it was hormones.  The tests showed me in the normal range.  Finally 3 yrs ago I found a good DR who listened and I went on the pill. 
     Wow after I went to the mid level dose.  I was normal. yes I still get upset but it is over soon like normal people.  Not Total Bi### for a week.  Last year I gave in and had a scope done.  I had small cysts just a lot of them that is why my use of my own hormones was off. 
     I ended up having a Complete Hyst last July.  It has been the best thing for me and my family.  Even with the complications I had (allergic to the stiches) it was the best for me.  I just want you to go into all your options before taking any mental health routes.  I am also in OK.  If you need to talk I am here and if you want to tell me off I am here.  Take care and you are not alone.

  • Nooner™

    TGIF Toni,
    I just enjoyed reading all the comments left here for you. Such wonderful feedback from so many friends. That’s awesome. You are blessed Caleb and many wonderful friends. Here’s hoping you are continuing to come along just fine!

  • Sue

    Hey Toni!  We are passing in the night this week!  The sadness took me over this week, but I’m back now.  I’m too scared to go to a doctor.  haha.  They may lock me up. 
    Do research on your own, see the doctor.  If they want to put you on antipsychotics, get a 2nd opinion.  DQ was on those and if it’s a wrong diagnosis, it’ll really mess with you.  KM is right about telling them up front if you are thinking of getting pregnant.  They need to know that.
    Good luck and GLAD YOU’RE BACK!!!!
    : ) Sue

  • Kadrin

    Hope yer feeling better : )
    Loved yer 101 things, Manic depression. if thats what it is the meds will help level it. Of course some people love the manic part and don’t want to lose that, it helps em keep the house clean, lol. Best wishes, and Congrats on hubby and you taking a mom and dads night, hugs til next time, Kat

  • David

    Isnt it great to feel perfectly normal. Welcome to the group that is the rest of the world!! lol you will be just fine

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