- HE must be strong. LIKE BULL. It’s not that I’m into looks–You could be a leprechaun for all I care, but he that aims to please me must pass the power-bomb test. Can you pick me up? Can you throw me on the bed like a sack of potatoes? That’s all I really need.
- HE would ideally be FLEXIBLE–up for anything, anywhere, anytime. Morning, noon, and night. And sometimes right before dinner. And right after. And then again a few hours later.
- HE is a total ROMANTIC. By this I mean, not only will he put forth the thought and effort into a relationship/ sexual rendevous (i.e. candles, roses, wine…) he will find the romance in everyday things, like sharing the last tomato with me, or watching a beautiful sunset on the top of a hill while picking stickers out of my foot with tweezers because I was too stupid to put shoes on while chasing after the dogs. You know, stuff like that.
- HE has to LAUGH. Hard. A lot. With me, at me, at himself. He will appreciate all types of humor including, but not limited to, sarcasm, goofiness, silliness, raunchiness, childishness…the list goes on and on. If I pop in Bad Santa, or Old School, or SpiceWorld, he must have tears rolling down his cheeks. Find the humor and own it, bub.
- HE is GENTLE. To me, to children, to animals. He will be as close to freakin’ Saint Francis as he can get without crossing the line into sissy-boy.
- HE is TOUGH, when he needs to be. He’s not scrappy per se, but if he had to stick up for his family, he’d totallly be able to channel his inner Tony Montana.
- HE has one helluva SEXY VOICE. Oh. My. God. Nothing makes me melt like the sound of a deep voice…and nothing makes my skin crawl more than a horrible, high-pitched nasal squeal coming from guy. On the phone, face to face, in bed or out, the sound of my perfect lover’s voice better make me go weak in the knees.
- HE is helplessly, hopelessly, 100% PASSIONATELY IN LOVE with me, and vice-versa. The kind of love that makes your tummy hurt–no, not butterflies. I’m talking real stomach cramps. That’s hard-core love right there. The kind of love where every song you hear, you think about the other person, even if it’s Chef’s "Chocolate Salty Balls". The kind of love where you can’t picture life with anyone, and I mean ANYONE, else, and the very thought of it makes you want to go stick your head in an oven. The kind of love where the possibility of the other person being unhappy for one moment brings tears to your eyes. The kind of love that stays strong…even when you don’t realize it, even when it doesn’t feel like it…it’s still there, and deep down, you know it always will be.
Anyone who wants this tag is welcome to have it. Rules: something about 8 things, perfect lover…toss in somewhere male or female…pass it along to a few other folks…There. I feel…satisfied.