We won’t be doing THAT again.

   Giving a toddler a bath is no easy task. It involves risk; determination; and an extreme love of splashing. And in some cases, earplugs and beer.
   Always expect the bathing process to be everything opposite of what you have prepared yourself for. For instance: Fast=slow. Dry=soaking. Calm and soothing=rambunctious pool party that ends with you and 3 naked Barbie dolls in the tub while the actual child is on the loose somewhere on the other side of the house.
   On occasion, I like to draw up a nice, warm bubble bath for me and Mia. Sometimes I do it to save time. Today I did it to waste time. Mia was in a mood, as usual, and I’m counting the minutes until I can put her down for the night. So I thought this would be a nice way to pass away an hour…or at the very least 15 minutes.
   It started out wonderfully. We poured in about half a bottle of Mr. Bubble, the sun was streaming in through the window…Mia tenderly poured water over my knees and we both made bubble hats for ourselves…I felt like I was laying in a tubful of clouds. For a moment, I imagined it’s what heaven would be like.
   And then my dear child ever-so-lovingly patted my tummy and said "BIG belly."
   She then pointed to herself and said, "Little belly."
   My mood wavered and then Mia gave me a big hug and said, "HAPPY big belly. Happy mommy."
 
   You know, the kid has it all figured out.
   Then she giggled and said, "Oops! I pooted!"
   And then a huge, vibrating noise. And another smile from Mia. "Oops! I pooted again! Mommy–poot too?"
 
   "No, Mia, I do not need to poot. Do you want to go sit on your potty?"
   "No. I want to stay in the tub…noooo…I…want…(grunts)…A DIAPEEEEEE! NOWWWWW!"
 
   I jumped out of the tub and grabbed her towel, but we ended up having to take a shower after the bath anyway.
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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

4 responses to “We won’t be doing THAT again.

  • Sheryl-Ann

    Hey Toni, I am still laughing – that was too funny!  Kids?  What will you do with them (smile)?  Sounds like you might need a beer to relax after that episode (hahahaha).  Hope your week is going well.

  • Sue

    Okay, those days I do NOT miss!  Since I have a grandsone, there will be NO communal baths.  So glad you are among the living!  I missed you so much!  I have been hit and miss depending on my depressed pathetic self.  Cheyenne looks GORGEOUS for her first day!  Advice: as she grows, make sure she has at least a couple of VS bras in her possession.  IMHO it’s a special something for girls at that growing age.  Hold on tight girl, it’s going to go fast now.  Take lots of pictures and don’t miss ANY of it!So glad you are back!: ) Sue

  • barnyardmama

    That is both hilarious and kind of gross–I’m laughing over here. 
     
    KM

  • Darcy

    Wow…. I came over to check up on you, since I’m being a bad blog friend, and I see you’ve got your hands… (and tub) full….
    Glad things are moving right along… less blogging, more…ahem… babies babies, make babies!
    Love ya!
    D

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