Recommended Reading

Okay. Been busy. But not busy enough to keep me from sitting down with one of Cheyenne’s newest book, "OH, YIKES! History’s Grossest, Wackiest Moments", by Joy Masoff, author of the bestselling "OH YUCK!"
 
Seriously, this book is just the shiz. I love it. I bought it for her before we took our trip down to Florida, thinking it’d make for some pretty interesting reading on the drive there and back. The last few days I have found myself sitting down with the thing every morning, flipping through it’s pages…nothing can tear me away from this book.
 
Here’s a few examples, just so you get an idea of how flippin’ great this book is, especially for the 8-12 year old crowd:
 
  • Lewis and Clark dealt with some serious constipation on their journey across the country, which they handled with Dr. Rush’s Bilious Pills. These little babies were filled with enough mercury to kill a person, but it worked so quickly that the mercury didn’t have time to absorb into the bloodstream. When they weren’t stopped up, they had the runs way bad from all the muddy river water they drank. Nice.
  • Pirates really were ALWAYS stinkin’ drunk–because they added alcohol to their water to kill germs.
  • Andrew Jackson’s had a pet parrot with a potty-mouth. During Jackson’s funeral, the bird had to be removed from the room because it was cussing up a storm.
  • In the late 1500’s, snow white skin was all the rage–everyone wanted to copy Queen Elizabeth, who had lovely pale skin. She made it even paler by using a nasty paste made of white lead and vinegar. The only problem was that her make-up ended up eating holes in her face…causing her to spackle on a 1/2 inch of it everyday…and basically killing her. Cool, huh?
  • Huns–nasty folks. This is how they ate: They took a big honkin’ slab of meat and laid it on the part of their horse where a saddle would normally be. They rode around on the meat for hours and hours, and ate the meat, as it was, at the end of the day.

Okay. Mia’s waking up from her nap and I’d better get off this thing before she starts screaming bloody murder.

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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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