How odd is it that just the other day I read an entry on Texas Girl Jenn’s site about awkwardness in middle school, only to read the following entry in (oops–I know I shouldn’t) Cheyenne’s diary:
"The life sucks-o-meter has gotten extremely high. Not that today was bad (oh, but who am I kidding? It was terrible!) it’s just that the worst thing happened: I overheard my crush talking to his friend about his GIRLFRIEND…grrrr. And then the stupidos at my table (my friends, actually) started teasing me about liking some other DORK-HOLE–and believe me, Baby D, I DO NOT LIKE THIS DORK-HOLE. And I don’t lie, except to people I don’t like or people who lie to me.
I HATE my life. I wish I could get contacts. Because I just so happen to wear glasses, I am considered an ugly girl. I mean, a few people think I’m pretty–girls, only, unfortunately, and my friends, too, so they wouldn’t say I was ugly even if I was, which I am."
So does the girl think she’s ugly? I don’t understand. How can she? How can anyone? I went through a period where I felt a little ugly…but I had the glasses and braces, frizzy hair, baby fat and pimples to back it up. I wasn’t popular but I wasn’t unpopular. I had fun with my friends, I had fun by myself.
Cheyenne’s a different story. She seems unhappy a lot of the time. She’s sarcastic, skeptical, grouchy…easily upset, easily overwhelmed…and obviously very unsatisfied with her current social standing.
I don’t get it. She has the nice clothes that seem to be required for "fitting in"–from Limited Too, the most fabulous place for a fifth-grade girl to shop. She is tall, thin, and naturally tan. Her hair is long and silky. Her complexion is sickeningly beautiful. She’s got a quick wit, I tell you. She’s funny as hell and she makes straight A’s.
And who’s this crush? I’ve never heard her mention ANY boy’s name. I always wanted to be the kind of mom that she felt she could talk about that kind of stuff with me. Maybe we could even giggle together.
I’m finally working on the mural in her room–she’s been asking for one since we moved in the house, and since she hasn’t changed her mind on the theme in that year and a half, I’ve decided to get cracking. Cheyenne’s room is well on its way to being her very own "island in the sun." Maybe waking up to a lovely beach scene will put a smile on her face in the morning…I can’t help what happens at school.
For inspiration, I’ve been checking out some muralists online. I was pretty much bored with all of them until I found this guy: Happy. His work is insane–and just taking a few peeks around his site really gave me mural fever…for the record I want to be this man when I grow up, and just do huge wacky murals for a living. I’ve got a long way to go.