It’s not all it’s cracked up to be–for some.
But today, in a "profession" where traditionally you don’t see much in the way of encouragement or recognition–no pats on the back and certainly no paycheck–today, motherhood put a smile on my face.
I don’t know if it was the gorgeous weather or the fact that I had let her sip actual Coke at lunch, but Mia was in a very loving mood. And everything I did was right.
"Mom–you’re cleaning my shoes! What a good girl you are!"
"I love the way you fold my clothes, Mom! Great Job!"
"This sandwich is delicious! You made a perfect lunch for a little girl like me! Thanks, Mom!"
She said that stuff to me, word for word. I shit you not.
These moments are happy moments. We have a lot of these around my house. Being a stay-at-home mom has really allowed me to mellow out and enjoy my daughters. Yet for the longest time, I struggled against it. It’s not like I was missing out on some big career–how much could a starving artist possibly make? And it’s not like I hadn’t done it before, when Cheyenne was little. But somewhere along the line, (probably when I was in the third grade and had big dreams of being a glamourous career woman in a city somewhere) the idea got into my head that I could never be completely happy while I was "stuck" at home with kids. That I needed to be out and about, making money and meeting people.
It’s not like I’ve sat around the last two years with Mia thinking, "This sucks." No. I think the thought of going back to work or school as soon as Mia was old enough was just always in the back of my mind–that my "real life" would magically start as soon as Mia turned a certain age…what age that was I can’t be too sure.
No, I haven’t been hating house-wife life. It’s just that I’ve quietly come to accept, maybe even embrace, the way things are.
I love my kids. I love being the one to get Mia’s hugs and kisses while she’s still young enough to give them freely. I love being around during the day to catch her doing funky dances and singing silly songs in her tiny voice. I love being home to sign the permission slips and hear about how excited Cheyenne is about her upcoming field trip. I love our girl talk–talk that might not happen if I worked all the time and was too tired to have such long conversations at night when I got home.
Motherhood. I can’t come up with a single thing I have more of a passion for. And I think I’m getting good at this.