- The Shield: This show has got to be the most badass piece of programming ever to air on television. If I were a man, I’d want to be just like Vic Mackey, bald head and all.
- Brad Paisley: You want to check me for ticks? Fine. Thank you for singing a song that’s a little off-the-wall and sneaky. It’s actually refreshing.
- Ballet Flats: Out of all the things in my daughter’s closet, I covet her prized jean-ballet-flats the most. I can’t fit them, but I want to. I tried to. I put my hands inside of them instead and pretended they were my feet and that the shoes were mine. It wasn’t the same. But man I love those shoes.
- Paris Hilton: Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton, Paris Hilton. And maybe Tinkerbell, too.
- Kenny Chesney: I used to love him. But I swear to God, if he sings one more song about getting drunk somewhere in the Carribean, I’ll slit my throat with a broken beer bottle. I will. Move on already.
- Swimsuits: Designers of the world, U SUK. How come you spend so much time making cute bikinis? My grandmother wouldn’t want to wear the tankinis and one-pieces out there for sale now. It’s just not fair.
RANT OF THE DAY:
I also read an article today about 2 5th grade "couples" having sex in the classroom in front of the other students. How sad is that? Just a thought here, parents: turn OFF Ludacris when your kids are in the car. MTV non-stop is probably not a good idea either.
What is your daughter wearing, I mean REALLY WEARING, underneath that big coat, and in some cases, that conservative pink sweater she wouldn’t normally wear if you paid her?
Go ahead and let your daughter read Cosmo Girl and Seventeen magazines, but maybe you’d better read them too.
And what’s so bad about snooping a little bit? Privacy? You need to hide your condoms or your weed? Oh, well then by all means. I won’t look through your sockdrawer. Please. In my house, if you want to hide something, you’d better stash it in the attic, taped to the back of a board under fuzzy pink insulation.
That is all.