Don’t Look at ME.

This is nice: In a book I’m reading called Your Pregnancy Week by Week, by Dr. Glade B. Curtis, there is a lovely paragraph on Fetoscopy that says this:
 
"The test is done by placing a scope, like the one used in laparoscopy or arthroscopy, through the abdomen. The procedure is similar to amniocentesis, but the fetoscope is larger than the needle used for amniocentesis."
 
It goes on to describe the risks, advantages, disadvantages (but thankfully never the actual deed by detail). What is so hilarious (and enlightening in a certain way) about this particular section is that right smack dab in the middle of the paragraph is a highlighted box meant just for the husband:
 
"Dad Tip: Are you concerned about sex during pregnancy?…"
 
What the hell? Sex better not even cross Caleb’s mind if I’m sitting there worrying to death about having a needle the size of a maglight shoved through my stomach.
 
On a non-pregnancy note but still very much family oriented, Cheyenne is going through yet another phase. This one has me slightly uneasy. Yesterday we went for one of our walks and through much prodding and prying she confided to me through tears that she’s been eating lunch alone a lot this year, and that she doesn’t have any really good friends anymore, except for one little girl who is not in her grade. I asked her what has changed since last year, and her only response is that all her old friends are different…and that for some reason by the time she gets through the lunch line, the girls she would normally sit with have already eaten and are scampering off to recess. My heart breaks for my child.
 
I was always a new kid everywhere I went so there were times I experienced the horror of sitting alone at lunch. But it was always during that awkward in-between new-kid stage and it never lasted long…I wasn’t insanely popular but I always had my own group of close friends.
 
Yet here Cheyenne is, 6th grade, still in the same school with the same kids…the oddball out. She’s brainy and quiet, and of course a little unsure of herself (who isn’t at 11?) and can be very withdrawn at times. I’ve seen her in action with people she knows, and she can be very witty and funny…but she can also come off as a bit of a know-it-all. That’s fine. Nobody’s perfect.
 
She said that she never has time to play after school, which is true. At 4:00, when she finally gets home, she has a snack and chills out for a moment, does her homework, and attends to her 1 daily chore of poop-scooping. But the end of her daily routine, it’s close to 6:00. Her friends in the neighborhood are out and about until I don’t know what time of night, but I’ve tried to be adamant about having the family eat dinner together at 6:30, after which we all get showers and unwind. Bedtime is no later than 9:00. I never thought it was an unreasonable schedule but after yesterday I’m looking for ways to loosen it up a little bit, starting with picking her up from school instead of having her ride the bus. There’s an extra 45 minutes added to her afternoon.
 
I honestly didn’t know how to respond to the whole lunch alone situation as far as advice…I offered her a lame tip for making new friends (or keeping her old ones) that she wasn’t buying and to tell you the truth I didn’t fully believe it myself…what a difficult age she’s at. Girls can be so brutal to each other…though I guess it’s not just at 11.
 
If anyone else has advice for this sort of thing I’d love to hear it and then pass it off to Cheyenne as my own wisdom. Just so long as it’s not lame.
 
 
 
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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

2 responses to “Don’t Look at ME.

  • Normal Every Day Life

     Bless her little heart!!   I don’t really have any advice the only thing I think of as an adult is how little school really affected who I am today…..It is such a small part of the whole scheme of things..But I am sure and 11 year old wouldn’t want to hear that!!

  • barnyardmama

    I only have two pieces of advice for anyone trying to survive middle school (or high school).   Usually, though, they don’t make sense until it’s too late.  The first thing is this: everyone is more worried about themselves than you–half the time they aren’t even paying attention to you.  Second, don’t take yourself too seriously–people love it when someone is unapologetically themselves.   Probably won’t help Cheyenne too much.  Do they have clubs at her school?  Is there someone in her classes that could make a study buddy/new best friend?  I got lots of invitations in Middle School to help the not-so-smart/cool girls with their classes.  In the end, I was in on all the private jokes and invited to a lot of good parties because of it. 
     
    Just my thoughts. . .
     
    Oh, and do you want to hold my baby today?  Because I will drive to Oklahoma to drop him off.  He HATES the car and made me nuts today when we got stuck in traffic.  Ugh.
     
    KM

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