- Pants I love: They are roomy, comfy. They are relaxed and baggy, and probably way too long. Some of them fall right off while I’m walking around if I’m not careful. I have approximately 2 pairs of jeans in this classification that I can’t even wear lately because they just won’t stay on.
- Pants I struggle with occasionally: On a good day, these pants fit nicely. Possibly even a little loosely. On a bad day (after a weekend of beer and barbeque and cookies) these pants just don’t like to zip, much less button. Recently I’ve been wearing them without a problem.
- Pants we do not speak of: The pants I’ve mournfully put away at the back of my drawer in the hopes that I will someday be small enough to wear them again.
The other day, I fit easily into a pair of pants in the iffy catergory. Encouraged (yet, a little bothered and concerned) I reached for a pair treasured old khakis sitting back of the drawer–and they glided on effortlessly, zipped and buttoned up comfortably…WHAT THE HELL? It’s not that I don’t want my beloved pants to fit me again, but Geez Louise, isn’t it about time that I start getting a little too big for at least some of my clothes? I thought for a moment last week that I’d arrived at that stage, but no. Guess I was just having a bloated day.
This morning I dared get on my scale for the first time in a little while to discover a weight loss of 6 more pounds–completely unrelated to morning sickness. I freaked out and called the doctor–shouldn’t I be gaining at least a little bit? Is my baby big enough? Will it be able to grow if I’m not gaining weight just yet? I can’t even feel a real bump! I’ve become obsessed with my stomach…looking in the mirror constantly, laying in bed patting my tummy…poking out my belly as far as it’ll go…For the love of Pete I’m almost 4 months along! And I don’t even feel like there’s a baby in there! I mean, sure, the ultrasound pictures indicated so much, but can they disintegrate somewhere along the line or something? Is that too morbid a thought? Everyone else I know (INKA, you bitch) is perfectly cute and round. My sister had a little tummy by this point. My other friend, Jaimie, The Golden Girl of Pregnancy even looked at least a little bit pregnant at 4 months. Hell, SO DID I with Mia and Cheyenne.
Okay, I’ve gotten rid of a little anxiety now. I’ll quit venting for today and pick up tomorrow…after I bug my PREGNANT AND PREGNANT-LOOKING doctor about the situation.