I Guess He Does Love Me…

Pregnant women have some wild dreams. I’ve given birth to puppies, kittens, baby snakes, and a grown man. I’ve laid eggs; and then I’ve accidentally scrambled eggs. I usually wake up feeling so disturbed and upset that I just can’t function right for the better part of the morning–I don’t easily shake bad dreams. Last night, I had the worst one yet:
Caleb and I were staying at the beach. I was 9 months pregnant and Caleb and I had spent the day apart. I left our sweet condo to go look for him, and I found him down at Bamboo Willie’s, one of our old favorite hangouts, eating raw oysters with a big bunch of people that I didn’t know. They all started to make fun of me so I left to go look for some seashells. I found some wicked cool ones and went to show Caleb at the bar. He got all mad at me and said that it was illegal to pick seashells if I wasn’t going to eat what was inside. I looked down and realized that there was some slimy pink mollusky-alien-creature coming out of one of the shells and it was munching on my hand, crunching my bones…and everything. I threw the shell on the ground and the slimy thing died. Then Caleb forced me to sit down and eat the rest of the gross shell-babies. People started crowding around me and making fun of me, Caleb included. I started crying. Then I peed my pants. I threw a fit like a little kid and refused to eat anything. Caleb was being so mean. Then they all left, and I was alone on the beach with a stupid bunch of shells.
Damn that Caleb. Damn him for being such a jerk. Damn him for ditching me to hang out with meanies. Damn him most of all for not eating the aliens for me, so that I could legally keep those beautiful seashells.
If I’m not having funky dreams, than I’m not asleep. I just can’t seem to get comfortable. My belly feels like it’s about to explode. I feel like I’m already lugging around a 10-pounder…like I’m 9 months pregnant instead of 5. Maybe this is typical of a third pregnancy, maybe I’m just an ultra-sensitive pansy. I hog the entire bed and steal all the covers…and the pillows. I prop myself up from all angles, I toss and turn all night long, and I get up to pee every hour on the hour. Caleb snores right through it all; damn him for that, too.
But this morning, despite my nightmare and my constant struggle to stay asleep, I felt more rested than I have in months. I’ve noticed a pattern this past week–today it actually hit me. Everyday I get to sleep in while Caleb gets Cheyenne out the door. He starts the coffee and works quietly in his office. I wake up sometime later all snuggled up to a pile of pillows strategically placed where his body was laying all night long. I asked him if he was trying to make sure I didn’t fall out of bed. He smiled sheepishly and said, "Well, I know you sleep better when I’m beside you."
I guess I can forgive him for the seashell incident now.

About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

4 responses to “I Guess He Does Love Me…

  • Shari

    Ahhh, how sweet!! 
    I know the nightmare thing though, I had them with my second pregnancy.  They’ll go away, which, I’m sure you know.  The seashell thing though, that’s just disgusting!  haha   Have a great day!

  • miranda

    Gross about the pink alien thing. Like, REALLY gross.So super sweet of Caleb, in real life, though. The husband and I have been talking A LOT about starting our family (only a couple months until we start trying!) and every conversation we’ve been having lately has made me fall in love with him all over again. He’s really just come into his own as a husband, if that makes any sense. It sounds like, all in all, we did good in the husband picking department. :)

  • Tiffany

    Okay… that story scared me at first… but I HATE YOU!  Britt never says anything sweet like that or does anything sweet like that.  Well, I can’t say always, but nothing blog-worthy!  :)  I’m feeling the same way girl!  Typically I’m a stomach sleeper and since I’m getting too big to do that it’s really pissing me off!  I HATE getting up to pee 50 times during the middle of the night.  I hate when anything wakes me up!  Baylee has actually been sleeping good since we’ve been in Cabot so that means I get to sleep in a bit… until like 8:15!  Level II Ultrasound is today so I will wait and blog later about all of that!
    Big Hugs – Tiffany

  • Joell

    SO sweet.  You made me smile today.  What a sweet hubby Caleb is.
    As for the dream…what the heck do you make of that??  Quite bizarre.  It’s all those crazy male hormones coarsing through your veins! LOL.  I don’t remember my dreams very often.  But when I do, they are always bizarre like that.  Nothing like I’ve miraculously met Matthew McConaughey and he thinks I’m hot or something like that.  More like I’m exercising in the back of an empty, moving 18 wheeler which is crossing a long low bridge which it then goes off the side of and, well you get the picture.  Crazy stuff.  I mean, what does it all mean?  I need me a dream interpreter.
    Happy Wednesday! 

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