Here by popular demand: Toni’s Ghetto Biscotti
Ingredients: 1 package Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Directions: Place pre-cut cookies onto baking sheet. Cook…liberally.
For your viewing pleasure, I added to my January photo album. What you will see is Mia in her darkest, illest hour of cough and cold, and me, or at least my torso, as it looked today before we went out for the afternoon. I’m having a bad-bra day. Be kind.
I want a pea-shooter.
So that at night, when the dogs are biting/licking/chewing/sniffing/scratching/trying to get on the bed/whining to go out for the hundredth time/moving in anyway whatsoever/breathing even, I can swiftly sit up and blow tranquilizing darts at them. I’d even settle for small rocks–just enough for them to get the message. A pea-shooter would be better than my pathetic finger-snapping, or worse, my (loud) whisper "Shut the hell up!" A thrown pillow would probably work, but then there’s the issue of finding one, aiming accurately, and then retrieving it after I do or do not hit my target…come to think of it, thrown pillows don’t work at all.
Mia’s finally feeling better. She still has a little bit of a cough in the mornings and at nights, but her fever is completely gone and she’s got her voice back–and to think I couldn’t stand those 2 days of utter quiet. I took her to the library to get us out of the house today. She was stoked–when we got there a group of girls her age was playing over at the "princess table". Mia immediately went and plopped herself down among them, all decked out in her trademark "boy" clothes, completely out of place in a sea of pink jumpsuits, sparkly hair ribbons, and ballet shoes. I wasn’t aware that preschool girls were capable of such cattiness until today: "Why do you have a Spiderman sweatshirt on? We were sort of playing here, just us. You can watch over there." And, worst of all, "Your mommy has a fat belly."
Luckily Mia gave up on them fairly quickly and joined a group of righteous boys over at the train table. They quickly accepted her and were all sad to see her go when she left to give the girls one more try. Those scandalous little clones–everytime Mia got out a toy, one of them would take it from her and say something nasty, like, "No! This is what I was about to play with!" I don’t know where their parents where–I kept looking around but no one seemed to be taking an interest in their rude behavior. Whatever.
Speaking of being rude, I swear, it was like 500 lb. Amish mommy day–a whole troupe of them were parked in all the rockers, each one with a baby on her knee, and weighing more than those chairs were meant to hold. The height of my library time came with their departure–each mommy went to a random person in the children’s room and handed out a wicked awesome brochure for their church. I WAS THE ONLY PERSON to receive nothing. What the hell? I mean, sure, I sacrifice goats in my spare time, but they wouldn’t have known that just by looking at me. I don’t get it. I combed my hair. I actually remembered to brush my teeth, and I made a concentrated effort to keep my facial expression pleasant today. It wasn’t easy! Like daughter, like mother, I guess. It sucks to be snubbed.

About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

9 responses to “Outcasts

  • ♥ Aimee

    you know kids..they are honest and they just say what they see…kids don’t understand that sometimes while you are pregnant you don’t want to hear how big you are getting…
    *~* :o) if you do not have a smile today… :o) I will give you one of mine… :o) *~*

  • Tiffany

    Hey girl… first… that is going to be awesome for you guys to take a trip to FL this Summer.  I MISS my van terribly.  We got rid of it because I was sick of spending almost $1,000/month in gas for Britt to drive it.  That was just ridiculous.  But, we had to keep the truck to pull his damn boat.  MEN!  So, I’m stuck driving it and I HATE it!  Do you know when you guys are going to go yet? 
    You know when I was working at the church a couple of weeks ago on a Friday night the same thing happened to Baylee.  Baylee was just trying to play with these 4-5 year old girls and she got snubbed.  It PISSED me off and I said something to them about it.  See, we all start off in the same room with different age kids… she was just wanting to play Barbie’s with them.  And, she wasn’t tearing anything up or hurting them.  There was even a ring leader and I got on to her the most because she was the oldest!  :)  I was proud of myself, but that was the first experience of Baylee being snubbed and she wasn’t doing anything wrong. 
    Your belly is so cute!!!  I need to get some more pics taken of mine… I actually had someone ask me the other day if I was pregnant!  Can you believe that?  It’s not like it’s not obvious!  hehehe
    Big Hugs – I will get a post on my site later this afternoon!

  • barnyardmama

    Man.  I am the exact opposite.  I get TONS of offers to get to know Jesus–I guess I just give off the vibe.
    Really little girls can be the most vicious bitcheds on the planet.  I remember some from Church–man!
    I think you’re super-cute pregnant!  I realize that it’s impossible to feel that way, but you definitely look it.
    I shoot my dog with a water spray bottle.  It works for me.

  • Hilary

    We got a Nerf gun from a Christmas gift swap and our dogs are quite afraid of it.  But its wonderful for shooting dogs when they are begging/whining/scratching/barking/etc. :)

  • Hilary

    OMG!!!  I just saw your belly pics, SOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!!!! :)

  • Tiffany

    Hey girl… yes, you can actually go in all of the caves that are around there.  I think that one is the biggest.  And, if I hadn’t been prego and if the hill wasn’t so damn steep I would of been up there taking some pictures.  There are actually a lot of caves in this area.  I know Devil’s Den (just south of Fayetteville) has a lot of walking trails/hiking trails and caves to explore.  It’s a GREAT place to camp in the Summer and it’s beautiful there!
    I’m doing good… wishing we had Sunday’s weather all winter long.  That would be so nice.  Trying to get Baylee’s birthday party plans in order… actually, they are in order, but now I have to go get her birthday stuff from Party City.  She wants her birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.  And, she wants a Hello Kitty birthday party!  She’s hilarious! 
    How are you feeling?  How are all of your appts going?  So far so good it seems!
    Big Hugs to you!

  • Bev

    Hey girl!  I just hate it when people are rude like that, and it seems that kids learn this stuff early on (probably from those rude parents). Mia is just an absolute doll and you look wonderful!!  My hubby says that no matter how big a woman gets when she is pregnant, he thinks that that is when a woman is absolutely the most beautiful!!  He is always just entranced by pregger women and treats them with great respect.  I hope all is going well and everyone stays well in your household.  It is snowing here today and will be in the 50’s by the weekend.  No wonder we Okies are falling to illness like so many flies!!
    Take good care, my friend!

  • Joell

    Cute Mia.  Cute belly.
    Rude children = A** kickin’
    Them Amish church ladies was just hatin’ on you cuz you so cute, girrrrl. That’s right.

  • Tiffany

    Just stopping by to say howdy!  :0)  I hope you are enjoying the weather!
    Hugs – Tiff

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