At the Moment…

Caleb’s boss. Caleb’s job. Caleb’s company. The person or persons who run Caleb’s company. Stress. Bleeding ulcers. Cigarettes. People who smoke cigarettes. People who try to hide the fact that they have not quit smoking cigarettes. People who make lame excuses for smoking cigarettes. People who suck on Skoal when they can’t smoke cigarettes. People who spit their sucked Skoal into a clear, empty soda bottle. People who leave open Skoal spit bottles in vulnerable locations. Dogs that knock over Skoal spit bottles. Dogs that lick up spilt Skoal spit. Dogs who puke up the spilt Skoal spit all over the carpet. Carpet cleaning machines that weigh a ton. Carpet cleaning machines that seem to leave carpets dirtier, and obviously wetter, than they were to begin with. Smokers/Skoal suck-spitters that are convienently unavailable and far away in stupid little towns called Ada when said situations arise.
Cold weather. Wind. Cold weather and wind together.
Damnit! 100+ pound dirty black labs that think unmade human beds are specifically designed for them and them alone. Dogs that run from you when you are trying to beat the hell out of them. Dogs that knock you down trying to run from you when you are trying to beat the hell out of them. Washing red dirt and black dog hair out of pristine white sheets. Repeating the process only 2 days later.
Telling someone where your secret chocolate stash is and being betrayed days later when you find it all gone. Not being able to contact the stash-stealer because they are convienently unavailable and far away in stupid little towns called Ada.
Baby thumps and kicks. Baby back-handsprings and round-offs. Playing dominos over and over while watching "Charlie and Lola" over and over. Shoe shopping with a daughter that has the same tastes and the same shoe-size as you. Phone calls from moms and sisters. Sunshine. Long walks through heavily-wooded private property. Long walks on unopened golf courses. Awesome pink tennis shoes. Comfortable pants. Being pregnant and excusably humongous. Being pregnant and excusably hungry. Cadbury Mini-Eggs. Chocolate stashes that aren’t depleted the second their secret is out.
Husbands who work impossibly hard so that you can stay at home in a nice house with the kids all day. Husbands who try not to burden you with all their worries about their job. Husbands whose main forms of stress relief are lawn-mowing and vegetable-growing. Husbands who give manicures and pedicures without you having to beg or even ask. Husbands who say nothing about a seriously non-shaven leg. Husbands who keep you company while you paint Rubber Mexicans. Husbands who take you on walks. Husbands who massage your feet while you eat the sandwich that they made for you after taking you for a walk. Husbands who go to bed when you go to bed. Husbands who comfort you at 3:00 in the morning because you had a nightmare about Rubber Mexicans breaking into your house and going Loco on your ass.

About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

6 responses to “At the Moment…

  • ♥ Aimee

    lol…sorry about the wierd dreams….and the things that you hate…but happy that you are enjoying being pregnant…lord knows i am trying…
    *~* :o) everyone smiles in the same language… :o) *~*

  • ♥ Aimee

    PS if you like Racye you can steal it…you live far enough away that it’s ok…lol….

  • miranda

    I feel you on the hating husband’s job/company. Sigh, don’t even get me started.I equally feel you on the husbands that are just all around awesome, too. Geoff does a lot of nice and thoughtful things for me, but when he goes to bed when I do might be my favorite. Especially if he rubs my feet first. *swoon*

  • Bev

    This entry is just proof that there is a fine line between love and hate!!  Sorry for all the things you are hating right now.  But it sounds like there were some really AWESOME things you loved!!
    Yeah….we woke up to snow, but not that much of it.  Most of the accumulations were to the south of us.  Our weather men are taking alot of heat because of their poor skills at being correct about much of ANYTHING lately!!  I always say they just give us their BEST GUESS!!
    Have a great week, my friend!

  • barnyardmama

    Skoal is the worst.  In college we would clean the rodeo stadium for money (for clubs) and those dip cups were the worst.  By far the most digusting things I’ve ever run into.
    You husband does sound pretty greath, though.  I don’t think I could ever convince mine to paint my toes.

  • Joell

    Gotta say it again…I love reading your blog.  Never fails to make me laugh.  Never.
    My FIL chews ‘backy and every time I see him spit in his "spit cup" (red dixie cup…not see through, thankfully), I throw up in my mouth a little.  Seriously.  It makes me wanna hurl.
    PS –  I do not have that bumper sticker on Big Red–or any other ones for that matter.  It was one I saw and I wrote about it in a blog entry from a while back…hilarious, nonetheless.
    Smile girl.  And enjoy being excusably hungry and humongous! 😉

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