My Nerves Are Permanently Shot.

Grocery shopping with children: Not for the faint of heart. Ask anyone who’s done it and lived to tell the tale. I attempted this fantastical feat yesterday at 4:30 p.m. in about 100 degree weather with all 3 kids in tow. Know that I only did this because we were slap out of bread, milk, fruit–everything you could think of.
Cheyenne was, as usual, a huge help, even if she did continuously ask for a million things that I just can’t buy right now. Merrick was okay–yes, he was strapped in his carseat the whole time, but he kept grunting and farting and threatening to wake up. And chances are, when he’s awake, he’s hungry–scratch that–he’s stark-raving starving which in turn causes him to shriek and scream and I just don’t think I could’ve handled that after dealing with Mia.
Mia, my angel.
It used to bother me when I saw kids on leashes. Now, I GET IT.
I go from the quiet requests…
"Mia, come over here please."
"Mia, don’t hide in the clothes racks please."
"Mia, you can’t ride on the edge of the buggy like that."
to trying to appeal to her sense of reason…
"Mia, don’t climb on the shelves, you’ll fall and hurt yourself."
"Mia, come back here or Mommy will get lost"
"Mia, if you stand in front of the buggy like that, I might accidentally run over your little foot."
to a little more insistant commands…
"Mia, watch where you’re going or you’ll knock something over."
"Mia, I swear to God, COME BACK!"
"Mia, for the love of Pete, I said you have to WATCH WHERE YOU’RE WALKING!"
to the mother of all threats:
"Mia, if you don’t stay by the cart, some stranger will come by and snatch you up!"
Sigh…if only.
I’m kidding. I love my kids. The kidnapping comment doesn’t work, and I finally resort to bribery in the form of chocolate muffins, sugary cereal, and cash register candy, and that works…for now. By the time we got home, I was ready to stick my head in the oven. Except our oven is electric, so it wouldn’t have done much…where would one buy a kid leash anyway?
Yesterday morning we took Merrick for his appointment at the Children’s Hospital at OU Medical Center–that place is like a city in itself. After we managed to find our way to radiology, he had his ultrasound, which went fine, and his X-ray, which also went fine. It helps, I think, that we took him to a place that’s used to dealing with kids–everybody was extra nice and extra gentle. Everything was extra colorful and extra soft. And Nick Jr. played on every TV. (we were lucky enough to sit in on not 1, but 2 episodes of "Wonder Pets" in the waiting room–just like home.) We should hear from our doctor by Monday.
And with that, I need my coffee and my chocolate muffin–okay, yes. Those were just for mom.

About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

5 responses to “My Nerves Are Permanently Shot.

  • miranda

    You’re such a Super Mom. I have a lot to learn from you over these next 9 months….!!!….. :)

  • barnyardmama

    Nick Jr. must have some kind of monoploly on the waiting rooms of children’s hospitals.  I once had a cardiologist tell me that he knows every episode of Dora the Explorer.  Personally, I seem to catch a lot of Sponge Bob. 
    Fingers crossed for Monday–either way, you’ll be fine.

  • Tiffany

    OMG… you sound like you went shopping with my kids.  Baylee is just now getting to where she will be good in the store.  Now, 6 months ago I would leave her at home with daddy because she was SO BAD.  I haven’t taken both of them yet.  I guess fear of the unknown!  :)
    I’m SO glad your appointment went well.  Aren’t the Children’s hospitals amazing?  Baylee even had a good time going to visit her little sissy everytime we would go.  All we had to do is go to the entrance in the front of the hospital and she was in heaven.  They had this cool play area.  Then, one day we discovered the play area in the PICU area… OMG… I couldn’t pry her away from it.  You are in the best hands there!
    I will be praying for good results on Monday.  Let us know what they say!
    Hugs – Tiffany

  • Michael

    My dad use to threaten my sister and I when we went shopping that if we didn’t behave and stick close by the cart then the only thing he was buying was sardines and that would be dinner….he followed through with that threat once and we learned our lesson….just seeing a can of sardines in the store makes me feel like hurling…..
    Hope your results on monday are great….! 

  • Nikki

    I left you a message on myspace, but I thought i’d leave one here, too.
    It’s June 23rd here on the east coast so…it’s Toni’s Birthday!!! You’re older than me! hahaha.  Seriously though, I hope you have a great day!

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