Ah, coffee. Toast with jam. The sound of the dishwasher. No shaved legs, but that’s okay. It’s Saturday again, and everything is right with the world. Sure, my husband is essentially jobless at the moment, but that’s at the moment, and things are bound to change, soon, I can just feel it. Sure, Mia has 4 cavities and the dentist thinks we’re awful parents, but what does he know? He knows teeth. And maybe gums and tongues. And that’s it.
And sure, Merrick’s head is long and pointy, but we’re going to get that fixed, and truth is, I’m feeling a lot more at ease about that. And besides, to the untrained eye, the messed-up-ness is virtually unnoticable. After doing a lot of reading up on craniosynostosis and his specific condition, sagittal synostosis, I realize that Merrick has it pretty good. He can still see and smell and hear. He can gurgle and giggle and drool and spit-up. And his mom is a stone cold fox.
The very night after we spoke to his neurosurgeon, we just happened to flip on "Plastic Surgery: Before and After" on NGC or TLC or Discovery Health or something, and we actually sat there and watched a little girl undergo the exact surgery that Merrick will have, only hers was way more complicated; they basically removed and rebuilt her entire skull. And I’ll tell you, it was something that, at the time, I didn’t neccessarily want to see, but I couldn’t look away. But I have to think that it was extremely helpful for Caleb and I to watch how it all goes down, and I can’t really say why, but we were calmer about the whole situation the very next day. So is it a mere coincidence we caught that show? I think not.
And here’s where I get all mushy and so-not-me on your asses: My family is so blessed, in every way. Merrick’s case is mild–MILD, I tell you–compared to some of the poor children who will forever deal with deformities and other complications from this very same thing. I’m not a big fan of church, but I do believe in God, and I know right now that we’re being watched over and taken care of in ways that aren’t always easy for us to understand or even see at all. But most of the time, it’s crystal-clear:
We haven’t gone into debt thanks to a huge tax return this year. We have yet to recieve a hospital bill, and even though I know it’s coming, I think we can handle it. We have pay out the yin-yang for insurance, but we’re covered and that’s what counts.
We have friends and family that have offered help in several forms should we ever need it. They call to check on us all the time. People we don’t even know send us inspirational cards in the mail. My mom is flying up for nine whole days to take care of things during Merrick’s hospital stay.
My kids are awesome. They’re quirky and funny and entertaining and beautiful, all three of them. My husband can piss me off like no other, but he’s still the world’s most amazing man and he’s my best friend and it doesn’t get any better than that. The dogs have even been strangely well-behaved.
So much has happened over the past 4 months, and we haven’t always dealt with it the way we probably should. But I hope that from here on out we can remember how very fortunate we are.