Ingredients purchased: eggs, sugar, flour, chocolate chips, pure vanilla extract, and real butter. Time spent in baking process: 3 hours. Number of cookies produced: 36. Number of cookies produced that were actually edible: 11. Paula Deen I am not. Stupid Tollhouse.
For Attempt #198, I will be going with the sure-fire method of opening a bag of Oreos–the red and green Christmas ones, ya’ll.
Mia has slept in her own bed (a pallet on our closet floor) for 3 weeks straight. As a reward, she got to invite her best friend over for a sleepover, and I’m proud to announce that everything went smoothly–I only spent the hours between 1:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m. cuddling with the girls on a fold-out mattress in the living room watching Pixie Hollow on repeat. But nobody went home and I got to cook pancakes once the kids were up and running at 7:30.
The kids are out of school this week and I couldn’t be happier. I really look foward to holing up in our house, wrapping presents and drinking hot chocolate while an ice storm rages outside…maybe we’ll even watch a few cheesy Hallmark specials.
Merrick was given a children’s bible as a Christmas present, and I must say I enjoy reading it. There are full-color pictures in it, people! I really think I’d do well with "The Bible For Dummies".
Come to think of it, I could use "Life For Dummies" too.
But I digress.
Lately I’m a woman obsessed when it comes to all things churchy. I’ve got this overwhelming to do it "right" this time, to understand every aspect of the bible, and to set a good example for my children. I guess deep down I knew it wouldn’t all happen overnight. Mostly I’m scared to death that in my quest to be closer to God, I’ll become one of 2 things: 1. a hypocrite ("Ooo, you know that girl Toni? She cusses while she gossips. And she knows nothing about the bible. She couldn’t pray her way out of a paper bag.") or 2. Boring and cheesy ("Hey guys, being a Christian is FUN! Anyone up for a rousing game of Scrabble while we drink ice-cold Snapples and boycott Disney?!!") I know I know I know. Once again I’m preventing myself from getting the message. But as I sat in church today, a couple things did manage to sink in.
As it turns out, you don’t automatically turn into a bible-thumpin’ Crazy Christian Robot when you follow Jesus. Which is good news, since robots in general creep me out. This also means that you don’t get instant bible-wisdom or even a Mother Theresa-like attitide. But I guess I’m okay with that.
It also turns out that God does not hand out cookies just for funsies. And that’s fine with me, since I’m not in it for the cookies. All cookies do is make you fat and greedy and lazy.
Unless they’re my cookies–then they just piss you off.