Today, the bible study that I’m in had the freaking nerve to suggest that my home wasn’t organized enough. And you know what? It would be right. So, today, in an effort to declutter and maximize efficiency, I decided to take some good advice and clean out 1 kitchen drawer.
Okay, I mostly did it because I didn’t want to leave my house because I didn’t want to drive down the street because I didn’t want the little floral-print-housecoat lady to see my car and be reminded of yesterday’s house-fire fiasco and laugh hysterically to herself about her flame-retardant idiot neighbor.
I started with one drawer, a junk drawer–one out of 4 junk drawers that we have in our kitchen–I kid you not–and in less than 5 minutes I had it all cleaned out. I organized as I put it all back in, but lo, it would not all fit. And so I had to move on to drawer #2, and clean out that drawer so I could fit stuff from drawer #1 somewhere. I need not explain further. By the time Cheyenne walked in the door after school, the entire house was in shambles, because 1) I went from drawer to drawer, from cabinet to cabinet, from kitchen to pantry to laundry room, giving each area a thorough cleaning, and 2) While I was busy giving my entire organizational system a complete overhaul, Merrick was trashing the place.
So not only did I have to re-organize my kitchen junk drawers/laundry cabinets/pantry shelves, I had to squeeze my stubby man hands under the couch to collect 96 crayons, 24 checkers, a handful of tiny plastic animals and one all-important Lightning McQueen. Did I mention how much Merrick delights in just throwing crap everywhere these days?
And guess what? I still have an entire kitchen counter full of stuff that won’t fit anywhere! But my drawers? I’m thinking about taking a picture of them and sending it to Martha Stewart Living.
Back to the stuff that won’t fit: I have on my kitchen counter a long stretchy purple latex band–I can only assume it is used for some sort of activity involving physical exercise, a gigantic atlas of the United States–handy when I want to know where the nearest Walmart is, enough wires and chargers to power an entire country, and an envelope containing Mia’s first haircut. Am I the only one who thinks it’s creepy to keep hair?
I’ve found 3 packets of corn seeds, boxes upon boxes of old checks, and a bunch of crumpled childrens’ paintings. And you know how you can never, ever find a pen when you need one? Well, a while back, Caleb got real tired of being in that situation, and he vowed to never go without a pen again. I counted 88 pens–most of them brand new. I also discovered that we do, in fact, have every size battery known to man. Yay! Now we can activate those noisy Christmas toys–tomorrow, after I clean up the mess I made cleaning my house! Thank you, Bible Study Organizational Lady!