Losing Control…as if I ever had it to begin with.

For her 15th birthday, Caleb and I temporarily lost our minds and gave Cheyenne her own facebook account. I am worried…and also jealous since she’s probably got more friends than I do by now…and also miffed since I have not yet received a friend invite from her.

Hmph. Whatever.

So. Two questions: 1) At what age is it okay to give your kids their own facebook account? and 2) Is it weird to be “friends” with your kid? Or mom?

And because I am admittedly an mucho-overprotective psycho parent, my answers will be a little different from that of a normal rational person. For me, 15 is too soon. Or maybe not. I don’t like Cheyenne walking down the street alone to the bus stop if I can’t see her. What if a rapist jumps out of the bushes and cuts her throat? Too much? Sorry. It is the stoff my daymares are made of.

On Facebook, though: What if she gets cyber-bullied by mean girls? What if her self-esteem suffers  if she can’t get more than 1000 friends? What if she develops facebook-depression? What if she does something stupid and it gets broadcast all over the internet? What if a hacker finds out who she is and where she lives and stalks her and ultimately cuts her throat?

I’ve taken all the necessary precautions: friends only, no addresses, no phone numbers. No tagging her in photos, all notifications sent to my email, yada yada. I’ve got that page locked down tighter than Harold and Kumar at Guantanamo Bay. Aside from, um, well, not giving her a facebook account at all, I feel like I’ve done everything I can do at this point to keep her protected.

But I did not sleep well last night.

Cheyenne, at this point, is struggling for just a glimmer of independence. I threw her a bone with the facebook account; what happens when she starts driving? And then, when she’s 45, dating? I only have 3 years until she goes off to college. She’ll probably go ape on the freedom-overload. I might just keel over and die.

Excuse me while I go breathe into a brown paper bag.

Does anyone know where I can buy a stainless-steel protective throat shield?


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

One response to “Losing Control…as if I ever had it to begin with.

  • Joell

    You are too funny…you sound like me. My kids tell me I am paranoid all the time. I just call it love. 😉

    I would say it sounds like you have taken some good precautions with Cheyenne’s fb account. I have it like that with Emma, however, the rules are as follows: She is my friend. I have her password and can check her account at any given time. She is also friends with some of my friends and they are on the lookout for suspicious activity, as I am for their kids. I trust her until I have reason NOT to trust her.

    The truth is, Cheyenne probably is very level-headed and you don’t have to worry about her. I have to tell myself that even though Emma is a “mini-me” in a lot of ways, she is her own person, who at 13 is much more together person than I was at 13. So I have to work hard to look at her as HER and not as ME. Does that make sense?? LOL

    Toni, you are a good mama! You are doing the right thing! K?? 🙂

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