Drugging My Children

Mia’s sick. I knew it would happen; it was only a matter of time, even though it did take longer than I thought. School’s been in session for one week exactly–I expected full-blown strep throats for both of the kids 5 days ago.

Anyway. We’re home today, and you can bet I’ll be doping up Mia and Merrick so heavily that they won’t be able to move their little butts off the couch besides occasionally stumbling to the bathroom. We’ve started school–I am not going back to the free-for-all ways of summer, when they ran around the house and jumped off of furniture, shrieking for no reason at all, except to see if they could break glass with the shrillity of their voices.

Problem: my kids are seriously horrible medicine takers. All three of them. Cheyenne was probably the worst–if I got any medicine at all in that girl, she would literally make herself throw up in order to get rid of it. Merrick was good for a while, until he wised up this past year and figured out that medicine was disgusting.

I’ve tried every trick in the book–hiding it in food, hiding it in juice, pretending it was candy. I’ve tried forcibly holding their arms still and pouring the medicine down their throats. I’ve resorted to bribery (fyi: soooo not effective. But then again, I never offered to spend $100 at Chuck-E-Cheese. I’d kind of rather watch them miserably suffer through flu season.) I’ve even tried getting tough and simply commanding them to take the medicine.

So today will be a struggle. But it’s happening.

Moon dough is of the devil. I thought it was so cool, when I first bought it, the way it felt in my hands. The way it molds so easily. Now, it is everywhere. It sticks to everything, and I freaking. Hate. Moon dough.

I’m throwing it away. Bye bye Moon Dough! Don’t care that you were $10! You’re history! Hmmm. Unless I can interest my kids in a lovely tablespoon or two of Mucinex…

I thought this was hilarious:

If only…

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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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