Super Recently (Also Titled: Why I Haven’t Called My Mother)

Well it’s been a busy week. Activities every day. Band stuff. Church stuff. Friend stuff and school stuff. I don’t know how career women manage to fit it all in and make it look so effortless, because I’ll tell you right now that I’ll have a nervous breakdown once I actually start a job. Working Mothers of the World–I salute you. I want to throw up just thinking about it. My kids do cute things all the time but I can barely remember 5 seconds later much less blog it all down for the whole world to read and marvel at. I did hold onto a few things for the sake of the grandparents who don’t get to experience us on a daily basis:

Caleb bought this old school–I’m talkin 1966–overly dramatic movie called “The Old Testament” last week. We watched it with the kids and they were hooked–Mia especially. As she sat there watching the stories of Cain and Abel, of Noah and the Ark, of Abraham and all his drama, she asked “Mom–are these the real people in the Bible?” She still has not grasped that not everything in history has been recorded on video for all eternity’s viewing pleasure. “No, hun. These are actors, and they’re on a stage that’s been decorated to match what someone thinks things might have looked like back then. All of it’s fake, but they’re telling a true story. Does that make sense?”  “Oh, yes,” she gushes. “I guess I knew it couldn’t be real; it’s not a black-and-white movie.”

Note to self: If I ever want to get Mia to believe something whole-heartedly, just capture it in black-and-white. “Look, sweetie. See this picture of a boy with a long wooden nose? That is why we never ever lie.”

Caleb enjoyed the movie just as much, if not more, as the kids did. He seemed to really dig the fact that none of the women were called by their actual names. “Wife!” he’s been saying to me. “Go henceforth and get me a Dr. Pepper!” Sound annoying? It’s not so bad, because this morning he woke up and said “Wife! You are fair and bountiful!” I went ahead and took that as a compliment.

Cheyenne’s been busy busting my chops, as usual. I took her to grocery shopping with me on Sunday and she straight called me out in the cereal aisle. “Really, Mom? Bran Flakes? Can we please buy something else for a change? We’re growing kids and we need sugar–not fiber. I’m so sick of it, it tastes like cardboard. Every morning I ask myself: ‘Hmm. Bran…or Raisin Bran?’ It’s the worst part of my day.”

I broke down and bought knock-off Captn Crunch, something I usually only reserve for when we have company. 2 days later, the entire bag is almost gone, probably because my kids insist on having 2 bowls at a time, since the one bowl of pure sugar does nothing to satisfy their hunger. Stupid colorful cereal in your colorful box. Enjoy it while you can, Cheyenne. Next week I’m buying a month’s worth of cardboard Bran Flakes.

It was on this same shopping trip that I bought the kids’ Halloween costumes. Cheyenne was stoked to find a Sue Sylvester getup at Walmart (she occasionally watches Glee on Netflix when nobody else is around to throw a fit for Finding Nemo) and immediately snatched it up. She put on the jumpsuit once we got back to the house, but decided that her actual hair looked more Sue’s than the wig did. Guess who’s been randomly putting on the wig and walking around the house like it ain’t no thang? Caleb. I kid you not–he sat in his office one day talking on the phone to a client for 15 minutes straight with that crazy blonde wig on. We were cracking up right outside the door and he sat stone-cold-straight-faced, going over numbers and whatnots, maybe occasionally brushing blond bangs away from his eyes. My husband is too hysterical. I just love him.

While the girls and I ran errands, Caleb and Merrick had a “man day”–this involved buying things like Lightning McQueen boxer-briefs, toddler belts, and new velcro shoes. Merrick was so happy to have spent a day with Dad, and he got some things that he had really been needing. I almost died when he put those boxers on for the first time and proudly marched around the house all shirtless like Marky Mark. I would have taken a picture, but I was just so verklempt.

And me? I finally finished the painting that I’ve been working on. I know–it took me long enough. But I finally turned out something that I’m pretty proud of; the friends who commissioned it are the same ones that I’ve been cranking out art for for the past year. Without their constant encouragement I’d find it a lot harder to be confident in my painting projects. I am so honored that they think of me when it comes to surrounding themselves with art that they love. Thank you, Brandon, Stephanie, and Caleb!


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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