I Have A Dream/Gomez Love

In between nursing sick children, cleaning up messes, grocery shopping, Christmas shopping, freaking out about anything and everything, and painting like it’s going out of style, I’ve managed to watch some tv and listen to some radio. My brain is mush this time of year; December is one of my most hectic months of the year. So enjoy this dis0rganized written frivolity today, because by the end of this week I might not remember how to type.

My husband has been making me watch “Conan the Barbarian” for the past 3 nights. We’re viewing it in pieces because we keep falling asleep. Probably it’s because of the *breathtaking* visual effects. My favorite part? When the blonde in the why-bother-bikini is punching ghosts away from Arnold’s half-dead body, which is covered in ball-point pen tattoos. You call that 4 hours in make-up? My three-year old son could do that to himself in the time it takes me to go to the bathroom–and he does. Frequently. In fact, Merrick pretty much stays inked-up, in permanent marker, from head-to-toe. Feel free to comment on my exceptional mothering skills.

My family has been obsessed with “Speed Racer: The Next Generation” cartoons. Don’t laugh at me, but I could seriously write a 1000 word essay on the obvious parallels between this cartoon and the world of Harry Potter. Okay, laugh–but if you’re a Harry Potter fan who’s seen Speed Racer lately, you’ll know exactly what I mean.

And now, an open letter to Selena Gomez, who I love. Really. I think she is just so adorable. In fact, if she and Justin Bieber ever had a baby, it would be so cute that it couldn’t even be human. She’d pop out a teacup pig or something.

And her voice is so lovely. Please, Selena Gomez, for me and all the other weird, bored moms out there, please: do a retro album. I’m talking some mid-to-late eighties, perhaps early 90’s. This has to happen.

I’ve taken the liberty of writing down a few songs I’d love to hear when you record said album, featuring Justin Bieber, and here they are in no particular order:

  1. When I Think of You–Janet Jackson
  2. All Through the Night–Cyndi Lauper
  3. Blame it on the Rain–Milli Vanilli
  4. Breakout–Swing Out Sister
  5. Just Another Dream–Cathy Dennis
  6. I Love Your Smile–Shanice
  7. Who’s Johnny–El DeBarge
  8. Joyride OR Dangerous (whichever you prefer)–Roxette
  9. Catch Me (I’m Falling)–Pretty Poison
  10. Forever Your Girl–Paula Abdul


Yes I did.

I so did.


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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