Hello Anxiety–We Meet Again.

Here is me on my violin: I have man-hands. I registered Merrick for preschool today. I will miss him so much 5 months from now. I can’t take a deep breath and I feel like I’m suffocating or do I mean hyperventilating? Probably both. My hair is blah. My arm not-cancer is back in all its ugly glory. Caleb is a traveling fool. Cheyenne is old enough to have her license next month and I haven’t even gotten around to getting her learner’s permit. Cheyenne is technically old enough to drive. I have so much to do and I can’t even perform simple tasks like sleeping and breathing.

Did I mention Merrick is going to be starting preschool next year? 5 days a week, from 8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., my smallest baby will be gone. I got so sad about it after registration today, that we zoomed straight over to the dinosaur museum, just because we could. For 2 hours, my little man and I hung out, touching fossils and being silly. Afterwards? We got Chick-fil-A. Why have I not arranged outings like these more often? Today was fun, and when Merrick put his soft tiny hand in mine on our way back to the car, he said, “You’re the best mommy in the whole world.” And I almost died.

That is all.


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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