Can’t Go On


Dear Caleb,

By the time you read this, I will be gone. My throat hurts too much; this fever is just too high. I can’t handle it anymore.

Also: we are out of bananas.

So I don’t even see the point in living.

Know that I tried everything–Pajama pants. Bernie Mac on Netflix. Carrot smoothies. I tried medicine, but it only upsets my stomach and does nothing for the rest of my aches and pains.

My feet are cold. The house smells like dog hair. Folding laundry is making me exhausted. My back is about to break in half. My migraine won’t go away. I forgot to brush my teeth but I might as well wait until I barf first. I feel like I have to throw up, but I kind of also want to shove something chocolate in my face.

But we have no chocolate.

Or bananas.

And life is just too hard.

If you’re reading this, Caleb, I have always loved you. Don’t cry that I am gone.

I just ran to the store to pick up some bananas.

With my unbrushed teeth.

In my pajama pants.

And now I will toast this measuring cup of dayquil to the glorious beginning of an awesome day.


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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