Take a Whiff of My House

Smell that? Probably not. Because of the dog hair clogging up your nostrils.

And if it weren’t, you’d smell dog vomit and dander and funk. You’d smell Kleenexes and wet towels and Lysol, and a faint hint of dying pine tree.


Old Man Winter, you are one dirty sob.

It’s too cold outside to open the windows and air out the house, but I’m tempted.

I turn up the heat. It gets hot. We, who have been shivering under blankets all day, start to sweat up a storm. My kids choke on dust particles and germs and I’m looking into having a hospital-grade air-filtration system installed in our living room.

I want to make cookies, but the stench of blackened sugar is not something I need to add to the mix right now. I want to dust the fans but that means I’ll have to mop my floor. I want to mop my floor but…

I don’t really want to mop my floor.

Not even a little bit.

On the plus side, I got my Christmas shopping done. I even went ahead and loaded up on groceries just in case the weatherman’s ever-changing predictions remotely come true.

As for the threat of power outages, (which we had here last week for half an hour for no apparent reason) I also bought flashlights, batteries, bottled water, candles and matches. I even picked up a water-proof matchstick holder, because hey–you never know when you’ll have to run screaming from the house to the shelter of the wilderness, where you’ll, of course, want impeccably dry match sticks. Laugh now, thank me later.

Also? I got sleds. They’re more like $5 shiny plastic trash can lids. But when it snows this winter, we are going to glide down the hills in our neighborhood like a super-extreme ice family and I just thought of this: we might even harness our dogs up and play Balto.

Caleb’s little sister is coming up for her annual Christmas visit. I’m so stoked and happy to have such a cool sister-in-law. The kids love her and she is so chill  that she doesn’t even care whether or not I vacuumed the ceiling. Plus she bakes really awesome, and anyone who can make us some cookies is alright Christmas company in my book.

I caved in and bought a new coffee maker. I’m pretty much full-blown hooked on the stuff all over again, but give me a break: it’s SO COLD! Coffee is just mandatory December-March, maybe April. (I’ll let you know.) And so I’m trying to limit myself to one cup of black coffee per morning; whether or not I have will power enough to meet my goal is directly correlated to the temperature outside and the number of hours of sleep I received the night before.

That is all.


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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