…ain’t nobody got time for that, but I’m doing it anyway. Even though I had a million cool things to do starting last Sunday and lasting all the way until Spring.

But whatever–I’m fine with rest. It means several things:

  • I get to nurse Merrick, who I’m pretty sure has the flu, back to health.
  • We get to color.
  • Caleb gets to spend time with the vacuum cleaner.
  • And the crock pot.
  • And Caleb has to get up in the middle of the night to carry our son to the bathroom; the kid sleeps like a freaking lead log.
  • Mia gets extra time to cuddle with me.
  • Cheyenne is particularly hilarious these days and she never fails to make me laugh.

Dontcha wish your family was as sweet as mine? Dontcha?

And people, let me tell you about my husband: he is just top notch. Father of the year. Best friend of the year. I love him so much it makes me want to vomit.

Speaking of vomiting–I haven’t done it yet, but I’m on the verge. I welcome this symptom of pregnancy during a time when I’m less than sure of how it will turn out. I’ve been a little queasy and tired over the past week or 2, but it would be so reassuring to throw up. Every time the feeling creeps up, I get all excited and chant “Let it begin, let it begin!”

I had my hormone levels checked again yesterday, and they had indeed gone up significantly. Everything looks okay. An ultrasound is scheduled for Monday so that a heartbeat can be located, and I have another follow-up on Wednesday with my doctor.

I’ve got my hopes up and by cracky, they will continue to be up, unless someone specifically tells me…well. You know. I look at all this good news as good news and I refuse to let the doubts of the waiting process drag me into depression–especially since this whole ordeal could very likely give way to one of the most exciting and best times of my life: the welcoming of another child into our family. Uncertainty is hard, but it will not ruin our blessing.

There are so many modern ways to drive ourselves crazy, especially when it comes to having and raising children. The blood tests, the monitoring, the ultrasounds, the statistics, the routine checks, the standard procedures and the preventative measures–at every turn, these things tell us what could go wrong, and how likely they could go wrong with us. I’m not saying medical science is the devil–no, I am grateful for it–but I could go completely overboard worrying about information that may or may not even apply to me. There’s a time to take action, and there’s a time to rest. And pray.

And right now? I’m taking action by resting and praying.

P.S.–Downton Abbey friends: I did watch Episode 3 of Season 1. The show has earned itself one more chance. Can I just say that you people are into some scandalous television?



About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

5 responses to “Rest

  • Katy (@birdonthestreet)

    OMG!!!! I HATE that FB only shows me like every other post that you do. PG? PG!!!! Ok, I will calm myself as I realize that you are still very much in the early/nervous phase. Rest up, mama. I’ll be praying for you all.

  • Melissa

    Helene and I are praying for you! Let me also say that I quit watching Downton Abbey before I finished the first episode. Something about my mother-in-law being in the room with me when a man on man kiss happened. I was quite embarrassed, and the show has never been on in my house again.

  • Toni

    Melissa yes that was unexpected! I’m not a huge fan of the show, mainly because it is just. so. boring.

  • Melissa

    I guess A&E’s Pride and Prejudice wouldn’t be for you either, then. 🙂

  • Joell

    Downton Abbey fan right here! Just got hooked this season, but was able to catch up on Season 1 on Netflix and Season 2 on Amazon Prime. Safe to say I am addicted.

    I am praying for you and for that precious one you are carrying! I am so excited for you and I am so happy about how happy you are! 🙂

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