I am grumpy cat.

Everywhere I look there are pregnant women and babies, and little baby shoes and cute baby dresses and blankies and bottles and I’m on the verge of throwing myself a good old-fashioned BF.

I feel like a mouth without a cookie. Not every mouth gets a cookie, but when a mouth is anticipating eating a cookie that was baking in an oven, and you could see that cookie baking and you could smell it, you should have that cookie.

I can’t really compare a baby to a cookie. I tried.

Part of me feels like I should have my baby…but my arms are far from empty and my heart is so rich in love, and in friendship. People are calling, texting, e-mailing, dropping by with books and cds and hugs. The weather this weekend has been gorgeous. And we’re ridiculously blessed.

I have an appointment on Monday to discuss fun options with my lucky doctor, the one with 2 different color eyes. She is my favorite and my best and her office has been so sweet and accommodating over the past few days.

I make a lot of jokes and I try and stay busy, because if I stop to cry or sit, I’ll be down for the count and you can find me curled up in bed for the next 4 weeks.

As a family we’ve been taking it hard. Not all of us at one time, but as you know, when one person hurts, we all hurt. Please continue to pray for my husband and my children.

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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

4 responses to “I am grumpy cat.

  • Nikki Robins McComas

    I’m so sorry, Toni. I’ll keep you & your family in my thoughts. I understand the pain of seeing pregnant women and babies everywhere, though. I just don’t talk about it often – rarely in fact.

    • Toni

      Oh Nikki. I guess we both know the same pain in a different way. I’m sorry you experience it just as deeply. Thank you for your thoughts.

      • Nikki Robins McComas

        I had a miscarriage in 2004. Didn’t even realize I was pregnant until it was too late. It has devastated me in so many ways. I didn’t even tell anyone – not even my husband- until a couple of years ago. So, I feel your pain. I know it all too well.

      • Toni

        Oh no! I am so sorry! Even after all this time…it just doesn’t go away, not totally.

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