If You Must Know

A friend of mine that I haven’t talked to in a while said this today: “I love all the pictures on your blog; your family is so cute and perfect!”

And I may or may not have laughed rudely in her face (well, in her ear anyway). Cute? Perfect? No.

Not even a little bit.

Okay, well maybe the kids are kind of cute sometimes.

But those vacation pictures? Taken in the midst of whining sessions and absurd squabbles between children and adults alike. Caleb and I were cranky with hunger and the kids were all jacked up on Dr. Pepper that we allowed them to have, because–what the heck, we were on vacation.

And on vacation? Kids still fight. And I’m still a total Nazi when it comes to things like making beds even in a hotel, or cleaning up the mountain of trash that happens during a 30-second car ride to a restaurant. And Caleb still says things like “Quit your honking, Toni, because you’re driving everyone crazy.”

Gallery Night coverage depicted a perfectly orchestrated art show, complete with smiling children and proud parents. The pictures do not tell you, however, that 5 minutes before it started, I was running around with my shoes off, sweating and panicking and trying to get everything together. I forgot to tell you about the fight I had with my 5 year-old son over his chosen outfit (mud-covered shoes and a Captain America t-shirt). Or that Mia had a softball game that night and had to leave early.

And today I overbooked myself and we’ve got a VBS-ing, house-cleaning, garden-watering, errand-running, dinner-cooking, birthday-partying, softball-playing agenda to tend to until flipping midnight tonight. And instead of getting schtuff done, my kids have watched back-to-back episodes of Good Luck Charlie while I’ve tooled around online, answering e-mails and researching logo-designs and just wasting time in general, because we’re sick and tired of being so dad-gum productive.

My point is this: everyone puts their best face forward, including me. Some faces are nicer-looking than others. But deep down, I’m a crazy, hellacious mess and I’m just trying to do the best I can. Family vacations, gallery nights, my Christian walk–there’s no area of my life that I do perfectly, by far.

Like, really, really far.

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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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