Look at this business.

Can I vaguely share? We’re looking at land.

Ok, we’re more than looking. We’re for real on the prowl. Actually, we’re moving in for the kill.

When I first met Caleb, this is the stoff our dreams were made of:

(engage flashback sequence: Our first date, Hub Stacey’s, downtown Pensacola. Midnight. Black Crowes music blaring. Can anyone else literally smell beer?)

Him: “I dunno (hic!) I either wanna have a jazzzzzzclub where people smoke cigars and stuff, or live on a farm somewhere in the middle of nowhere.”

Me: “Oh, yes, I (hic!) agree! If I can’t live on the beach then I wanna move to Atmore or Elberta and have a strawberry farm and also raise sheep.”

Him: “Oh, yes, you gotta (belllllllllllch!) have some sheep. And what about cows? You gotta have cows!”

Me: “Ain’t nobody got time for cows. I just want a sheep, just one, that I let in the house so I can snuggle with it.”

Him: “That sounds amazing. I love soybean fields and country drives.”

Me: “Well, I love country drives anyway. And moonshine!”

Him: “Hell yeah!”

We went on to get even more obnoxiously drunk and make-out in the bar, of course, but I learned a valuable lesson that night: a good, middle-of-nowhere-loving man who would let me keep a sheep in the house is hard to find.

And so here we are, married in the middle of nowhere, and looking to be even farther out than we already are. I don’t want to let sheep in the house anymore, but I sure wouldn’t mind a cow. And I’m just too excited not to share these:

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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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