Boo Hiss

Becoming the most hated Christian mom in 5…4…3…2…

I got beef with fall festivals.

There.

I said it. Actually, I hate them.

I hate all the fall festivals in the whole world.

Call me a kill-joy. A fun-sponge. A grumpy cat. It’s okay–I know what I am.

I love my church. I love it. I love the people who come up with ideas for said fall festival. I love the tent we have in place out behind the church. I love the kids who do come to the fall festival. And rest assured–I’m going to put on a smiley face and do my best to make sure they all have a great time.

But Halloween, now, as an adult church member? Is somewhat lameballs in tone.

I don’t know the origins of Halloween nor do I care. I’m not into devil-worshiping. I despise vampire costumes and fake blood and chainsaw-toting weirdos just as much as the next Sunday-school teacher.

But I have some fond memories of trick-or-treating on chilly October evenings; of neighbors just raving over how cute I looked in my costumes; memories of candy–sweet, sweet candy; and of watching “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!” back at home, as me and my sisters took stock of our bountiful loot.

O how I long to run amuck again through golden leaves in the autumn wind!

I could be watching my adorable kids take candy from strangers. I myself could be lighting a mini-fire in some (awesomely-designed) jack-o-lanterns at my own house. I could be bestowing chocolate bars upon the youth of America. I could be watching a little Hocus Pocus, right before hopping in my car to throw eggs at all the high schoolers who think they’re still young enough to trick-or-treat. (They’re not.)

I’m totally kidding. I would never egg a teenager–not when a well-placed water balloon would do the trick.

Anyways, I’ve said my peace. Tonight I’m taking my fighter pilot and my little old lady to rock the Christ-honoring Fall Festival at our church. There are booths with games and loads of candy. There are tons of cute little kids in cute little costumes. Last year they had a movie screen with Charlie Brown on repeat. It’ll be safe and it’ll be fun. Last time I checked, that’s all the essential elements of a good Halloween, plus a moon bounce.

Doesn’t get any better than that, folks. I might even have to dress up.

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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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