All Movies, all the time.

Well, it’s the end of November, which means it’s cold outside. Which means it’s less than 70 degrees outside, which means we at my house are doing a whole lotta movie-watching. Last week we had an ice storm so of course Caleb decided to Redbox it up with “Man of Steel” and “The Host”, and also “Food Fight” for the kids.

For the record:

  • Food Fight” was apparently so lameballs that my children–the ones who will watch any stupid thing anytime, anyplace–asked to shut it off. It was that bad, folks. Don’t waste your time.
  • Man of Steel“: I kept falling asleep so I can’t say I’ve seen the whole thing. Lots more alien-planet than I expected, and not enough Kansas cornfields. The dude who played Superman in this movie was better than the dude who played him in “Superman Returns”, just as Amy Adams was waaaaaay more better than Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane. I liked Kevin Costner being all Jonathan Kent-like, but–I’m sorry–wasn’t he supposed to die of a heart attack? In a barn? Not in a crazy dramatic tornado sweep. Highly unrealistic in this fictional story about a flying space-man with super-strength, if you ask me.
  • The Host“: it was okay. Schizophrenic girl from the future talks to herself all the time, gets lost in the desert. Wheat fields inside of a cave. Random kid. A love triangle (or rectangle?) that transcends space and time. Weird.

Personally I am so satisfied with movies that we already just own, most of which belong to the kids. My favorites? “Elf” and “Alvin and the Chipmunks”. In fact, Cheyenne and I are constantly taking scenes from these movies and working them into real-life situations, and if you’ve seen these movies over and over again, you’ll get it:

Me, making my own envelope out of brown paper.

Cheyenne: “Let’s talk about your envelope, mom.”

Me: “My envelope? Well, strange as it sounds, I actually got the idea for it–”

Cheyenne: “The envelope sucks, mom.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Cheyenne: “Your envelope? It’s awful. I hate it.”

Me: “I don’t…”

Cheyenne: “I need something new! Something…store-bought! I mean let’s get real here–who’s going to use it? Libby? Kayla? Not a chance.”

Me: “But I…”

Cheyenne: “If I wasn’t your daughter, I’d say ‘You get back at that table and make another envelope!’ …but I am your daughter, and I’m telling you there is no point in making envelopes that no one is ever, ever going to use.”

Me: “Ever?”

End scene.

Me, getting my Sunday school lesson laid out in the classroom before the students arrive.

Me: “Cheyenne–have you ever seen a resource room?”

Cheyenne: “A resource room? No, I haven’t.”

Me: “Oh, I mean, WOW. This place, there’s seashells, scrap ribbon–”

Cheyenne: “Scrap ribbon!”

Me: “And-and cardstock, in every color! And you can touch it all!”

Cheyenne: “(gasp) that sounds amazing…can we go there?”

Me: “Well, I have to work here…but maybe…you can go there?”

Cheyenne: “Okay. Okay, I’ll go there!”

end scene

You guys, this is just the sort of sick stuff we do for fun. And you’d be surprised how many times we can work these conversations into our day. Somebody tell me that this is normal.

I don’t know what I’m going to do without Cheyenne next year. Who’s going to recite movies with me? Who’s going to laugh at my dumb jokes? Who’s going to tell me not to sing? Caleb? No, it won’t be the same.

That’s all.


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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