That’s funny…I could’ve sworn I had ankles.

You asked for it, so here I am, serving up a tsunami of swagger, in all my 8-month glory:

Too swoll.

Too swoll.

I think the model-arm pose only works if your arms are smaller than your legs, but I never know what to do with my hands aside from biting my fingernails, so you’ll just have to fall in love with my elbow here. Dig my right-side-up baby. Also, I broke down and bought some maternity shorts. Believe me when I say I’ll probably wear them for the rest of my life, because they are darn comfortable, and also because clothing is required no matter how humongous I get or how hot it is outside.

Other news: I am homesick like you wouldn’t believe. For the beach in a giant way, but even more so for my family. It struck me that my dad turned 60 this year; I’ve known this and it hasn’t bothered me up until last night when I started doing morbid calculations in my head for no apparent reason, other than to make myself miserable with worry. My dad takes good care of himself. Observe this bicycle-riding firecracker:

dads birthday firecracker dad

He’s adorable at 60, you have to admit.

We’ve lived in Oklahoma for almost 10 whole years, and not a day goes by where I don’t miss things like this. Birthday parties. Major milestones. My nieces and nephews. My parents. My sisters. Swimming in pools. Funny thing about the beach that I can imagine the most vividly? Feeling that awful sting of salt water against my freshly-shaven legs. I love it.

Call it pregnancy hormones, but I’m feeling the homesickness worser than ever this year. I want to meet my dad for lunch. I want to go to church with my mom. I want to take the kids to the beach with my sisters. I want to gab with them on the back porch while the little ones run around in the yard. I want to paint pictures with my artistic niece. I want to tell sarcastic jokes to my brother-in-law. I want to hug my grandma. I want my kids to stay with my parents while I have the baby. I want our family to visit us in the hospital. I want to have Thanksgiving at noon with my in-laws and again at 4:00 with my folks.

If we could pack up our friends here and relocate this small town about 15 hours south and east, I would do it in a heartbeat without thinking. Why is Oklahoma not right next to Florida? I could cry. Somedays are just harder than others.

About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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