That which is happening right now.

Today I began my journey into cloth diapering, and my child suddenly has a butt the size of Texas. We’re going with pre-folds and diaper covers for now–so far so good, sort of…Arbor is still in an adjusting phase. And me? I’m a cloth-diapering, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, un-showered, leaky, exhausted MESS.

Arbor is gassy and constipated and fidgety and very, very screamy. She sleeps in my arms at night. I use the bathroom with her wrapped up tight next to my chest. Everything else I do is done with one arm. (Because I just excel like that.)

I don’t write this to get sympathy or offers of help; I say it because it’s easy to post cute pictures and funny, adorable stories about life with a new baby. A person might take one look at my Facebook page and gag on all the awesomeness that seems to be my life.

No false impressions over herrrr, baby. Arbor is still tiny. She eats constantly and sleeps what feels like never. We struggle. Like, a lot. The kids are tired and clingy and very much upset that we can’t just get up and go do whatever whenever anymore. A new school and an impending move contribute to their worries. Mia adjusts to change about as well as I adjust to lighting myself on fire.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t stressed out 95% of the time (and sleeping the other 5%.) Babies are hard. I don’t handle chaos very well. In fact, I kind of lose my mind. Loud noises, visual clutter, disrupted schedules–it’s all enough to push me off the cliffs of insanity.

This child is all-consuming but I’ll tell you one thing: whenever I start to feel overwhelmed or frustrated, I pray. And I remember how it felt to not have a baby that kept me up at night–that perspective helps me power through any sleep-deprived challenge.

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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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