Sucking Snot

This is real:

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And I can tell you from personal experience that it works. Arbor has been suffering from a vicious head cold and a friend of mine suggested this mind blowing contraption. Now, this is my home-schooling super-mom friend who is paleo–and you know I normally don’t trust those people as far as I can make my own organic granola bars. But she had this thing sitting around, and I was really tired from sleeping zero hours, so I took it, just in case. Well, I put it off, hoping to get away with not having to use it at all ever, but “just in case” did indeed come, later on at about 3:00 a.m.

My child was congested and screamy. I put the mouthpiece to my lips and gagged a few times, pretty hard. And then, when Arbor was about to explode from the most epic hissy fit an infant has ever thrown, I sucked.

I got mad amounts of snot out of her precious red nose, and none of it got in my mouth. (I gagged some more anyway, for good measure and dramatics.) I sucked again. And again. And Arbor breathed. And nursed with ease. And slept long. (2 entire hours at a time!) I will never use a booger squeegee thing again.

Today I have to call a realtor to see what all I need to do before we list our house. I imagine we will be cleaning our brains out and finding a temporary home for the dogs; I do not see how it will be possible for me to sweep, vacuum, hide the giant crates, and then load up baby plus kids plus dogs into the car for last-minute showings. Like, that will never happen.

I also wonder how smart it is to list our house so close to the holidays. I’ve never sold a house before. I’m kind of freaking out. What if people just don’t like it? I will feel so personally offended (and also bankrupt because 2 house payments are fast becoming uncool.)

Any thoughts? Tips? Suggestions?…or potential buyers?

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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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