Wanna know what to do when it’s -2000 degrees snowing outside and your windows are filthy and you are showing your house to people who care SO MUCH to see it that they are braving the icy roads and the freezing temps on a Sunday afternoon?
Attention: I might actually be a genius.
Rather than grab your busted, tired old garden hose and spray your windows with arctic waters, follow my awesome new routine. I don’t know why I’ve never done it before even in the heat of the summer–easiest way to clean windows ever. We have hard water so whenever I do use the hose, we get serious streakage AND IT IS MADDENING.
So here you have it, borne out of desperation and laziness:
Toni’s Freaking Brilliant Window-Cleaning Technique
Step 1: swiffer (wet mop) the window.
Step 2: now take an old towel soaked in vinegar and tuck it into the mop and attack the window once more.
Step 3: squeegee it off with one of those things you’re supposed to use for your glass shower door but always forget to.
Step 4 (optional): go over any left over smudges with a paper towel and some glass cleaner. I didn’t happen to have any smudges worth a fourth step, plus it was cold and I was ready to go back inside.
How am I managing to keep my house show-able with all the slush and the cold and the muddy dog prints and the kids, you say? It’s difficult as hell! My family lives to make messes and yes that’s LIVES, not loves, although they do love to live to do it. Basically I’ve been a complete nazi for the past 2 weeks. I’m successfully driving myself to the point of insanity, while my children cower in fear (primly and carefully, not touching anything, on the living room couch where I can see them.)
1. We constantly “pick up” and we be using a lot of baskets for hiding crap fast.
2. The kids make their beds immediately after getting up in the morning. After they’re all dressed and ready for school, I tell them to go make their rooms look magazine-perfect. This is the only description I can use to get results.
3. I have the kids do quite a few other chores too, because seriously? I gotta baby and she wants what she wants when she wants it. Empty the dishwasher, fold them towels! You can dust a coffee table. You can wipe down the baseboards. Snag the trash. Hook a mother up!
4. Some stuff I simply do not trust the kids with–mopping, bathrooms, and windexing. Bless their hearts, it’s just never going to happen with them. I gotta have the floors shining like the top of the Chrysler Building–the alternative is just icky.
5. I sweep everyday, like, all day. I mop and clean the windows immediately preceding a scheduled showing. I hide dirty laundry and dog beds in the garage, and then me and my squad hit the road.
The showings have been going okay I guess–people do not seem to appreciate our 10-year-old carpets caked with dirt and dog hair, and stained all ta hell. We’re considering just biting the bullet and replacing all of it, but what would really be fantastic is if someone would just make us an offer and do it themselves. Caleb and I are a tad sick to death of projects for some reason.
While strangers are walking through our house, we head south to the property. As it turns out, the dogs love it there; it’s a pretty excellent hang-out, even without all the comforts of home, like our Netflix and our snacks.
Here are some shots from today’s excursion:
So the kids’ rooms are pretty much done. Caleb is handling the closet built-ins like a boss, and me? Well someone has to observe Arbor being adorable. I’m pretty gifted in this area.