Fun fact about Toni : sometimes I get a little depressed and I have to be talked down off my “everything is futile under the sun” cliff. The last few weeks have been a series of “one of those days”. I don’t think anyone really knows what an absolute physical struggle it is for me to control my crazy. My head has been ROUGH and that’s about all I need to say about that.
Good things though? I’ve since had some good long talks with friends, and I been churched, and my kids never fail to be sweet. God takes care of me in every way, and He sees my brain. No matter how alone I feel or how confused I get, He is with me.
Tomorrow is always another day–So if you’re the sleep-deprived mother of a clingy baby and some wild older children; and your days are filled with chores and feedings and errands and almost zero contact with the outside world; and you would love to run, or shower, or eat or pee or sleep without a miniature human attached to one of your body parts for more than 10 minutes; and your husband is under an ungodly amount of stress; and no matter what you do, you do it wrong; no matter what you say, it sounds weird; and you’re unbearably lonely and tearful and raw and you just can’t even?
This too shall pass.
It will. All of it–the bringing up of the babies, the exhaustion, the loneliness–is only for a season, a season that will go by so quickly in the grand scheme of things.
Whether I look back at these days and laugh or shudder, I can’t say just yet. But God is making me way stronger through them, so I’m setting my mind to be thankful overall.
Plus I got a wood-burning stove: