In the air

Anyone else feel that calm before a storm feeling? Anyone? Like when the sky is quiet and yellow the afternoon of a tornado, or when all the water sucks out of the bay before a hurricane? 

Without launching into a political tirade or starting a Holy War or even just confirming my conspiracy-theorist label, can I just say that our society is changing so radically and rapidly even just in the past year that I’m finding it difficult to believe it’s all for the better. And because, Revelations.

Also: my brain feels fried, and tight. I feel poppings in my head that I really can’t describe. I’m having trouble focusing on everything from putting the groceries away to driving. I just. I can’t. I have. It hurts. Listening. Thinking. Comprehending. It has always been a struggle but lately–specifically this week–it’s become a battle.

Mia is frustrated beyond belief with me because she is the single most talkingest child that ever lived and she spews out words faster than I can breathe and she expects me to process it all and give immediate feedback. Sweet mother, that girl can talk. I think back to Cheyenne at this age–I would have given a kidney to have even a one-word answer to that age-old question “how was school?” from her. Something tells me I will have a completely different experience parenting a preteen this time around.

And Merrick? He just goes around making as much noise as he can. Just noise. Buzzing. Clacking. Clomping. Shout-singing Journey or DeBarge. It is what I am to presume dudes do in their early stages.

Arbor is hellbent on self-destruction and occupies her time climbing stairs, inspecting electrical outlets, jumping off the couch, eating rocks and junebugs, making breaks for the stairs, pulling up on unsturdy things, climbing chairs, throwing herself on the concrete floor for fun, eating dog food, chewing on cords. It’s like The Bunny Suicides around here except with a baby and I don’t know how much longer I can stave off this massive heart attack I’m set to have, yo.

It’s like she’s going through the book.
And that’s about all I got for tonight since I’m bound and determined to get my solid eight hours so as to not explode my skull tomorrow while idk, balancing the checkbook.

Toni out.


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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