The Couch

Furniture shopping–not for the faint of heart, or the mother of 4. (Well, one in college, three littles at home…come to think of it I could use that college one during our scouting missions. Not only could she have helped me wrangle, she could’ve flirted and gotten us deals.)

So that’s what we’ve been doing these past two weeks. I know what I like, and I don’t take long to make up my mind. I went to stores with very specific, pinspiring ideas:


I love me a traditional sofa but I figured we’d stick with a sectional since that helps corral the baby, as long as said sectional was of a soft cuddly material of light greige.

My husband, though, couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to lay half-backward on the couch (the horror!) and quickly started researching monstrous recliners whereupon he would place his arse after work and not move it until bedtime.

Clearly a compromise would have to be reached: I would scope out sectionals that had reclining pieces, in the hopes that my dreams of a light gray sitting spot weren’t completely dead.

Plot twist: there are no reclining sectionals or sofas that aren’t completely ugly.

What to do, what to do? Do I pick out the couch of my dreams and leave my husband to put a giant leather recliner across the living room? Would we be doomed to sit in separate locations for the rest of our forever, never holding hands or sharing popcorn or snuggling ever again? Is this the beginning of that phase of life–the phase where you stop snuggling on the couch and retreat to your opposite corners, followed by separate bedrooms and then you die?

Today we secured two pieces of a slobby reclining sectional that looks like a slick brown turd.

The things we do for love y’all.

It is ugly no doubt–but the comfort level is undeniably high and I will be able to sit annoyingly close to Caleb at night, and people, that just matters.

Why only 2 pieces you ask? Well that’s another thing: he picked out this bad boy in the store and then realized there’s a huge clearance section where you can possibly buy various pieces of used furniture at a hideously discounted price. So we found 2 pieces and our salesman assures us other pieces will be rolling in soon, each with a microscopic scratch on back bottom corner.

Because if we are anything at all, we are thrifty mamma jammas, and full price? Just is not our world, like, ever. And now we sit on a patchwork of comfy, old cloth couch and brand-new-to-us leather/imitation leather/hellitcouldbevinyl sectional until we can locate and purchase the rest of the pieces at less than one-third of the original price.


Now if only we could get the kids to bed so we could cuddle.


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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