real life in July

The end of July is here you guys, and I am here to see it through my singed, sunstroked eyes. For some reason, the heat hasn’t bothered me nearly as much this year as it has in years past, and yet…

It’s still sickeningly hot, and I’m still nursing an epic sunburn I got in no less than 30 minutes at a water park last week, and that’s with the 50 spf smeared all over my back (and then sweated off in the most ladylike of ways, and then tenderly reapplied). I’m praising the Lord for our shady porch and tinted windows because the sun BEATS down on this house between the hours of ten and six. It’s like the friggin’ Book of Eli here in the southwest-ish central part of Oklahoma.

We spend a lot of time inside, and we don’t go anywhere unless we absolutely have to; so it amazes me that Arbor, Merrick, and I all came down with delightful summer colds. You wanna know what it’s like having kids? Imagine having a constant dull headache while being smothered in snot and graham crackers, and whenever you want to pee by yourself, someone comes and screams at you and tries to sit in your lap. Here’s the baby in all her boogery glory:

One day I decided to check the mail and wound up wandering around the yard after my dog. I think my skin was smoking when I came back inside.
It is unacceptable to run after 7:30 am or before 7:30 pm, so I’ve been slacking. My husband, however, has cleverly found a way to trick me into exercising and here is the actual way he presented his latest fitness craze: “Hey check it out! I was at Academy for no reason and I saw these cool jump ropes and I really wanted one and so I got one for you too, and I thought you could get up in the morning at like, I dunno, 6:30, and do like 100 jumps just for fun, also it’ll get your heart going–also for fun–and then I thought, well hey, I bet you could do this sporadically throughout the day, just jump rope, even inside the house if you wanted. Here let’s have a contest.”

I’m so serious.

Lucky for him, I was actually intrigued and excited about the jump ropes, so guess who most certainly did jump rope 100 times at 6:30 am for fun?

Also I love contests.

Smokey has a case of the throw-ups. Which is nothing really new except that he throws up all day and all night, just piles of water, and when he’s not barfing, he’s making gagging noises in preparation. The vet is thinking pancreatitis, which would require an IV and an overnight stay and a crud ton of bloodwork and fancy medications, plus a new and improved diet of the most expensive dogfood in the history of giving dogs their own special food.

And here’s me: I love my pet, y’all, but…there are starving children in Africa and I can’t justify forking over $600 more dollars on the tummy troubles of an animal who’s not long for this world anyway. And especially after we already sold our firstborn child to pay for his emergency stomach-twisting surgery four years ago. I cannot do it. I cannot.

I’m giving him a week’s worth of medicine to see if that will even him out long enough to let his system rest and heal; beyond this, I am not sure what lies ahead for our old Smokey.



About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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