I am done with cleaning. Like literally so done–I don’t know. Arbor is not cooperative when it comes to lack of complete undivided parental attention and admiration. Cleaning house is not something she really “feels”, and, for those of you who don’t know, when Arbor isn’t feeling something, Arbor turns into a teenage mutant roid-raging hulk-smashing ninja-warrior-diva on moon-meth from from a galaxy far away.

And actually Arbor doesn’t “feel” a lot of things, like diaper-changes or face-washing, or not being carried/held/cradled/coddled, or forbidden from eating Legos/Caleb’s Red Bull/Winnie’s poop.

My neck and my back.

This week has been eventful even outside of all the mass quantities of Halloween fun. Our church put on a painting party to raise money for Syrian refugees; it was pretty much fantastic and we had over forty people sign up. I may or may not have botched the devotional I gave–what came out of my mouth made so much less sense than what I wrote on paper, causing me to at least partially appreciate and understand the plight of the public speaker. When I write stuff, I’m mainly thinking of people in my heart who don’t know Jesus, and these painting sessions were chock-full of the hard-corest, most faithful women I’ve ever known. So they got a confusing earful of things they already know, plus a pretty bomb painting that they made themselves.

I read an article recently on the line about how Christians should stop writing blog posts about how authentic (read also: human) we are and remember how we should model holiness.


And I get it, I do. But I am so far from being holy and I stumble so much in my own walk with Jesus that to write anything more than what I know as a Christian who struggles with desires of the flesh (read also: anger, impatience, frustration, laziness, eating 500 tacos and my whole family in one sitting/holy jargon for the win!) would be so obviously fake and discouraging to the very people I actually hope to reach. (Read also: the opposite of the judgy mc-judgerton Christian elite crowd who don’t gain any new knowledge from reading my blog in the first place.)

What’s a Christian to do in this day and age?


Jesus says holy things in the bible and I suggest reading them all. I also suggest putting learned things into practice but be warned: it’s trickier than it sounds and I have yet to master any of it. So if you come here looking for holiness you may be disappointed sometimes; most days I can only offer hope.

And that hope, my friends, is as authentic as it gets.



About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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