Rubber Men 2016

Valentine’s Day: also known as pharmacy-chocolates day, overpriced roses day, and also: The Walking Dead Returns Day. Who else is excited about seeing Gabriel get what’s coming to him this weekend?

I’m a girl of many talents and interests. I like me some Downton Abbey but I also like it when survivors survive zombie apocalypses and stuff. I can rap like Ludacris and I know the lyrics to all songs by Phil Collins, but I’ll cut someone if they switch my radio while I’m listening to The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans. I appreciate a hot coffee at any given moment, cheese grits on a Tuesday night, a long run, a hot bath, and I love puppies entirely too much. Sometimes I teach preschool and sometimes I show church ladies how to paint crosses and sometimes I paint rubber dummies for training programs for agencies that keep us safe. You’re welcome, America.


A little toilet paper and modge-podge goes a long way when you need to make open wounds but you’re fresh out of latex.

Funny story: I thought I’d be hilarious and text my husband plus a couple friends how I “just got done doing four men in the art room.” I included these pictures in the group text and waited for the lolz to ensue.


And nobody responded for like two hours.

And then I had to explain myself.

And then it just…wasn’t as funny.

And so…well…here I sit all awkward.

Happy Valentine’s Day y’all.


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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