JEM: My Organized Thoughts





THIS MOVIE THO. I was going to do a one-sentence sum up of this movie but instead have decided on an eighty paragraph gushfest.

You guys, here’s the deal: Jem and The Holograms was the best cartoon in the history of ever, but as a movie made thirty years later, it was wrongly marketed toward older teens (not edgy enough) and women in their mid-to-late thirties (i.e., fans of the original cartoon/Jem purists–tough crowd to please since they were looking for accuracy in the most accurate of forms.) It straight-up BOMBED in theaters, so much so, that it was pulled and everyone wrote it off as a total flop.

Haters gon’ hate.

AND TRUE JEM-LOVERS ARE GONNA LOVE THIS MOVIE, because it’s awesome, if you’re willing to overlook an overall different vibe. It’s not flamboyant or flashy and the Holograms don’t fight crime (yet) but man.


The music kicks butt and the outfits and the make-up are so fun. Best part is? It’s little-girl friendly because Jem is respectable and also quirky and cool. Mia has seen it three times in the last twenty-four hours. Arbor has been jamming to “Young Blood” all morning. Even Merrick like it (The Rock made a quick cameo.)

Actually I lied. The best part was that all the essential elements are present: I had minor freak-outs throughout the movie whenever something was deemed “truly outrageous”; and then I had an absolute jemfit when Jerrica said “It’s show-time, Synergy,” and then I DIED when the Misfits made an after-the-end-credits appearance: this is important because I, being the eternal rebel, have always personally identified with Pizzazz, and felt that honestly the movie did sort of lack without the bad-girl rival band…until…UNTIL…Freaking KE$HA in a green wig came sauntering out all crazy and evil and well, like I said–I died, and I’m still lying on the floor spazzing out because, PERFECTION.

So hey–were you a Jem fan back in the day? (And if you were I think we can all agree that surely it wasn’t thirty years ago, because that would make us all almost forty.) Do you have daughters in the 7 to 14 year-old age range? Cause you need to see this movie. And then we need to make plans to see the sequel all together, faces painted with pink glitter.

Rock on y’all.


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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