especially this day

Valentine’s Day 2017: this is the 15th Valentine’s Day I have spent with Caleb as my main squeeze. He is not much for empty romantic gestures, or really even just romantic gestures in general; but he does always remember to bring home chocolate and that’s pretty much the thing I want most in the whole wide world always. We work well together in this way.

I’m probably like most people I know in that I don’t expect or desire expensive things. I don’t want stupid cards on commercial holidays. Roses actually make me sick to my stomach any time of the year.

But dang it: comparison is a freakin’ thief of joy, and while I don’t specifically require anything from my husband on Valentine’s day, I get bummed as I watch the Facebook Floral Extravaganza unfold from sun-up to sun-down, topped off with Instagram photos of smiling faces over candlelit dinners at fancy restaurants. (Insert obligatory sentence about jealousy and greener grass, etc. HERE.)

I crave attention from my husband unlike any other living thing craves anything at all. And it has to come naturally or else it doesn’t count. Valentine’s Day Attention is acceptable, but contrived nonetheless. And–hey–chocolate is perfect, but it is no substitute for what I really want: kindness, thoughtfulness, laughter and loyalty throughout the year.

And he delivers. Question is: do I?

I read something recently that was particularly convicting. We vow to love, honor, and cherish our spouse–now, I can care for my husband in sickness and in health like a total boss. I will never cheat on him. I will love him until the day I die; but do I make him feel special? Does he know how much I like him? Does he know that I think he is funny, and smart, and pretty much the best guy ever, not just from what I say but also from how I treat him? Do I actively verb-cherish my husband?

And y’all.

I’m not sure that I do things on a regular basis that would indicate to him the certain level of respect or admiration he deserves simply for being the one God put into my life. I feel like I fail at this at least 70% of the time–especially lately.

I love this guy. I love our children, our home, the life God has allowed us to build. May I never lead him to think otherwise.

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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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