Breathing again

I’ve recovered.

Just kidding, I’m still totally in shock; but I have finally realized that I’m not going to wake up and have it be Wednesday again, and my whole doctor’s appointment/ultrasound was real, and there are two babies in my tummy.

Twins–as far as I know–don’t run in my family. But then again, I don’t know anything because I’m adopted and my biological mother who I know very little about (medically) was also adopted, sooooo…

These little yahoos are conveniently separated in their own little pouches with their own little nutrient packs; I assume that means fraternal twins but I’m new to the twin game so I could be wrong.

And I think I’m just old, y’all. I’m almost 38 and I be droppin’ eggs like it’s goin’ outta style. I should have seen this coming back when Caleb sweet talked me into trying for just one more (“I just love being a parent with you, I just love the children we make, I just love having a big famileeeee.”) I figured we could just see what happens over a short, 2-month span of time; in all honesty and likelihood, a baby shouldn’t have been something my body was up for–so sure of this “fact” was I, I went ahead and committed to a half marathon in November. And, on the off-chance I did get pregnant? Well, that was future Toni’s problem.

Note:I have always spent far too little time worrying about future Toni.

Future Toni is here and she is sick and fatigued like she’s never been before. She’s cranky, and emotional, too. Today she literally cried because someone ate all the croutons. What the actual?

The kids are over the moon excited. Caleb is so ridiculously thrilled that it almost makes me mad; I feel like there should be an element of fear in this. How am I the only one in my family to recognize that? Do they not remember what a gem I was at nine months pregnant? Does anyone else realize we will have 4 kids under 5 years old, plus two older ones playing all the ball? How do women with more than one small child manage to brush their teeth and get dressed? The day-to-day logistics of newborn twins plus an 18-month-old plus Cat 5 Hurricane Arbor are a nightmare.

I can’t with this.

I mean, I can, but I’m scared as hell and it is warranted.

This is 11-12 weeks with twins: Dang kids be eating all my croutons. Just straight out the bag like chips, not even on a salad. I’m tryna be healthy and feed some babies some freakin’ lettuce and I can’t even do it now without gagging. Yeah I ate that salad, but it was gross.

On the bright side I’ve had a really good time coming up with twin names.

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About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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