the amazing expanding me

I’ve had a lot of askings as to how I am doing these days, so I’ll begin by saying this: I am healthy.

But it’s bad.

It’s so, so bad.

Twin pregnancy week 16: I’m already toting a medium-sized watermelon. I’m out of breath. My hips crack when I walk or when I shift my weight laying down in bed. I’m getting hot flashes for crying out loud, and I’m no longer just constantly nauseous–I’m throwing up a few times a week for fun, with bouts of wicked acid reflux in between to keep things unpredictable. Massive headaches are a thing. Exhaustion doesn’t begin to describe how tired I am between the hours of 7 am and 9 pm. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m sleepy while I am sleeping.

Speaking of sleep, the pregnancy dreams are vivid and sick. There are always wolf cubs involved, and I seem to wind up with a really cool zipper pouch where a c-section was performed. (Low-key bummed that an actual kangaroo-style zipper pouch is probably not an option.)

I’m so afraid of how stupid big and immobile I’m going to get over the next 4 months. My doctor wants to get these babies out by the second week of December; I can already tell my body will be in complete agreeance with that time frame, and I will have me all seven of my children in my arms well before Christmas Day.

All that said, I’m in good spirits (though the look on my face would suggest otherwise) and the thought of welcoming two healthy little babies into our lives keeps me going, mentally, while burping through my tears on the couch.

And nobody’s a better husband than Caleb, who is thoughtful, attentive, and caring, times two.

Names have been all but officially etched in stone; I expected a lot more pushback on some of my choices but as it turns out, my husband has acquired way cooler tastes over the last 14 years of having children together, and while I still couldn’t get him to embrace Bernadette and Dorothy, I’m pretty happy with what we’ve settled on. (Other names included in the cut list are as follows: Thora, Daisy, Margo, and Cordelia; Hamish, Dominic, and Calder on the boy’s side.) (Caleb finally stopped suggesting Riddick and I couldn’t be happier.)


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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