It suddenly occurred to me as I clicked in the numbers to this post’s title that I am entering into the last month of this twin pregnancy–the last month my body will ever carry babies again, ever.
I’m serious this time.
Seriously this is it.
(Actual words from my doctor: “Now, you think about this for a while, but I will have your tubes in my hands during the surgery, and–”
ME: “Take them out.”
HER- “Well, but–”
ME: “Take it all out.”
HER: “You have some time before–”
ME: “SET IT ALL ON FIRE AND ROLL IT DOWN A HILL.”)
There are so many side effects of a twin pregnancy that are shocking me, for some reason. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, physically. At 32 weeks, the biggest challenge is simply breathing–I have two giant melons jammed into my rib cage (instead of the usual singular baby booty). Heart palpitations have been debilitating at times, but at least those aren’t constant. Sleeping is a distant memory, but that’s not new. Walking is kept to a minimum since it seems to bring on Braxton Hicks contractions of a ferocious nature. As far as my hormones go…
They’re fine. It’s fine. Everything is fine.
Cravings are a thing but with gestational diabetes, I have to do my best to resist them.
With a c-section scheduled for December and a new son and a new daughter to welcome into our home, the next several weeks are going to fly by faster than I anticipated and I’m feeling bittersweet, relieved, excited, scared, and also hungry for beignets. Life as a wife and parent of older kids + younger kids has taken a turn for the incredibly insane; I have so much to do to prepare for this life change that I don’t really want to do any of it.
Preregistration at the hospital? Is that really necessary? I go there so often I should have my own parking spot at this point. Transition Lucy to her upstairs attic room? Um, have you seen me try to make it up the stairs period even just for a shower every three days? Much less try to carry a fifty pound toddler in my arms and wrestle her to bed? And…
I cannot think of it.
So, babies, we have a month-ish until we meet face to face. I’m not sleeping, I’m miserably uncomfortable, I’m stressed to the max over all the non-stress tests and BPPs and checkups that I’ll be having weekly until mid-December…
But I love you both so much already, and this is all beyond worth it.