Last minute worries of a not-panicking mother-to-be

Prodromal labor y’all: look it up.

This is my life right now, just as it was in the last few weeks of every single other one of my pregnancies. It’s maddening–absolutely maddening, I tell you. And if you see me out and about, know that I left the house for the sake of my own sanity. One can sit and rest for only so long dealing with pointless contractions without going crazy.

So what does a mother on #6 and #7 know about labor? Nothing at all. Not one dang thing. For instance:

Is this a Braxton Hicks contraction or is this the real deal?

Should I start timing these?

Did my water break or did I pee myself again?

So if I can’t walk or breath through a fake contraction, does that make it a real contraction?

Do I time what feels like the fake contraction or do I just time the contractions that hurt way worse?

Should I eat or take a bath, or both at the same time? (The answer is both.)

Are contractions supposed to be felt in your butt near the tailbone area?

What the heck, body?

Should I call my doctor if the contractions are 90 seconds long or should I wait until they are steadily 5 minutes apart?

Why did these two particular contractions just space themselves 13 minutes apart?

Why are you jacking with me, body?

Where can I get Caleb hooked up to one of those machines that simulates labor for men, and will the procedure be videotaped?

Should I quick try to finish up teacher Christmas presents or should I lay down on my left side and drink water?

Should I go for a walk? (Nope, definitely don’t want to go for a walk.)

I should wash my hair. (Nope, don’t want to do that either.)

Should I install the car seats?

Should I move their cradles closer to the window?

Should I put the stroller in the trunk?

Should we stick with “Endellion” or should we use the Gaelic version “Endelyn” for the girl? Or does it even matter and should we skip a full formal name and just put her nickname “Indie” on the birth certificate?

I should read a book to Arbor and Lucy. (Yep, definitely should sit and read 8 books.)

I should go to Walmart and get milk and bread. (No, Toni, do NOT go to Walmart.)

Is it just me or did the contractions just stop all the sudden? (Yes, it is just you. No one else is contracting. And YES, they did suddenly stop.)

So….Hobby Lobby and Chic-fil-A with the little ones?

Definitely yes.


About Toni

Mom. Wife. Artist. I take care of the kids and pretend to clean sometimes. I can cook spagetti and I have never been arrested. View all posts by Toni

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