Because I’m a Hero and That’s How I Roll.

 

Today, I saved a lady from a housefire.

 

 

And then, I apologized to said lady after Caleb helped me realize that the "smoke" I saw pouring out of her dryer vent was actually just steam.

 

 

Yeah. I did that.

 

 

So. I’m rolling down the street in my ghetto-mobile, taking the kids to school, when out of the corner of my eye, I spied billowy white clouds (or faint wisps–whatever, okay?) coming from a pipe on my neighbor’s roof. I slowed down, because I was just sure that a fire raged underneath those shingles. I debated what to do for about a split second. I ran up to the door, rang the bell. When an older lady in a thin floral housecoat answered the door, it was all I could do not to pick her up and carry her away from her treacherous housefire. I excitedly told her about the "smoke" I saw coming from her roof; in less than a second she was on the phone with her husband and then the fire department.

 

I asked if there was anything I could do before I left; after all, I couldn’t let Mia be late to school. I got in the car and went on my merry way, feeling pretty darn smug about my brilliant feat. I called Caleb to tell him the story of my morning, so that he could share in my heroic glory, but he only chuckled. "Toni, that’s not smoke. That’s just steam–you know, created when cold air comes in contact with hot air? Jackass much? You saved a lady from a fire–but you probably gave her a heart attack."

 

I cried like a baby all the way back to my neighborhood.

 

Sure enough, there were no firetrucks on my street. No policemen, no ambulances. Things were quiet and most certainly NOT on fire. I parked my car in front of the house that was supposed to have been burnt to the ground, got Merrick out of his carseat, and rang the doorbell once again. The little old lady answered with a big grin on her face.

 

She was really cool about the whole thing. How could she not be? I came bearing a cute baby. That, and I was literally in tears, begging her forgiveness. I apologized for being so stupid and rash. I said sorry over and over and over. She laughed the whole thing off and thanked me for stopping back by.

 

On the upside, I met one of my neighbors and made a new friend.